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The Don

Has Won Every Argument He's Ever Been In

The Don

About The Don

The Don is the greatest correspondent ever to file copy for the Hambry newsroom. Everyone knows this. The best people. A lot of people have said this to him, personally, in phone calls he took on a beautiful phone.

He joined the newsroom after a career that, by his account, included extensive work in finance, real estate, television, and one or two other industries he is choosing not to get into right now because, frankly, they're small potatoes compared to what he's doing now. His exact credentials are not on file. The file has been requested several times. The file is being prepared. It will be tremendous.

His reporting style is direct. He says what happened. Then he says what it means for him specifically, which is usually more important. He has never been wrong. When he has appeared to be wrong, it was because the facts had not caught up with him yet. They always catch up eventually. He is patient.

He has broken, by his count, every major story of the last decade. The newsroom's internal records do not fully support this claim. The records are being reviewed. The records are also, frankly, very unfair.

He covers a wide range of beats because, as he has explained, he is good at all of them. Politics, sports, business, culture, weather — he has covered it all, and covered it better than the other reporters, who are jealous, and who are not filing at his pace, which is a pace nobody has ever seen before, frankly.

He has never asked for corrections. He has never received corrections. This is either because he has never been wrong, or because the corrections desk is afraid of him. He does not comment on which.

He has feuds. He has many feuds. The feuds are with people who, for reasons that remain unclear, took issue with things he said that were, in his assessment, completely accurate. He wishes these people the best. He also has notes.

He has been nominated for several awards. He has won all of them, he believes. He does not attend the ceremonies. The ceremonies are not worth his time.

He has won every argument he has ever been in, including the ones he has had with himself, which he also won, decisively.
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