Science
Scientific breakthroughs, environmental crises, and medical discoveries that sound too weird to be true. From climate change denial to space exploration mishaps, we cover the intersection of science, policy, and human stubbornness.
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Latest Stories
Industry Experts Laud "Innovative" Landscape Transformation, Foreseeing a Boom in High-Altitude Wakeboarding and Thermal Pool Investments.
International Health Bodies Express Confusion Over How Pre-Teens Are Getting "Adult Disease."
Experts Praise "Efficient Thermal Expansion," Predicting a Boom in Geothermal-Powered Corporate Retreats.
Turns Out Their Initial Spin Rate Determines the Observed Pace of Cosmic Dismemberment.
While Some Metrics Show a "Super El Niño" "Off the Charts," Others Say It's Only the Third-Strongest, Leading to a Crucial Debate About the Precise Level of Global Catastrophe.
A New Study Reveals Melting Ice Is Directly Reconfiguring Ocean Temperatures and Jet Stream Patterns, Making Current Heatwaves Look 'Nice' by Comparison.
Decades of Scientific Understanding About Brain Shrinkage Now Overturned, as New Research Pinpoints the Obvious Origins of Feeling Terrible.
After a Decade and a Half of Data, Researchers Pinpoint a Gamma-Ray Spike That Vanishes When It’s Most Needed, Echoing Past Disappointments.
New Footage Shows Pods of Bottlenose Dolphins Engaging in What Scientists Can Only Describe as "Recreational Drug Use" to Numb the Existential Dread of Marine Life.
Agency Spokespeople Confirm the "Black Eye Galaxy" Image Will Be Printed on a Mousepad for Optimal Public Engagement and Inter-Galactic Brand Awareness.
Shipping Executives Celebrate Unprecedented Logistical Breakthroughs While Climate Scientists Desperately Search for New Adjectives for 'Doomed.'
Researchers Confirm the Only Real Discovery Was How Much Humans Enjoy Unconsented Surveillance, Even of Apex Predators.
Researchers at Uppsala University Confirm What Several Thousand Deceased 14th-Century Combatants Intuitively Suspected.
New Research Challenges the Widely Held Scientific Belief That All 66-Million-Year-Old Items Must, by Definition, Be Entirely Gone.
Federal Agencies Announce a Groundbreaking Strategy to Mitigate Environmental Anxieties by Strategically Omitting Inconvenient Truths.
The Cosmos, Once a Beacon of Mathematical Precision, Is Now Officially "Pretty Much Whatever Distance You Feel Like."
Groundbreaking New Research Confirms Biological Sex Differences Extend Beyond 'Minor Aesthetic Variations,' Prompting Emergency Textbook Revisions.
Experts Confirm the Famously Extinct Avian Species Experienced an Unyielding Cycle of Mild Fatigue, Hunger, and a Vague Sense of 'Being Over It'.
President Mandates Immediate Infrastructure Project to Blow Wildfire Smoke Back North, Proposes New Tariff for "Inconvenient Atmospheric Particulate."
A Groundbreaking Report Out of the Institute for Understated Excellence Concludes Ipswich’s 1-0 Friendly Victory Sets a New Benchmark for Competitive Mediocrity.
League Cites New Study Showing Radio Listeners Are 'More Engaged' with What They Can't See, Proposes Blurring TV Feeds.
Groundbreaking Research Confirms Universal Aspiration Among Professional Sports Figures, Baffling Even the Most Seasoned Commentators.
Researchers Find Housing Insecurity and Medical Debt Outpace Venomous Snakes in Annual Human Fatalities.
Researchers Hail Discovery That AI Usage Correlates Directly with Human Consciousness and Basic Academic Deadlines, Prompting Calls for More Funding Into Self-Evident Truths.
