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Hambry is America's sharpest satirical news publication. Sharp coverage of tech, politics, culture, and corporate absurdity. The news, remastered
Culture
Receiving Cash to Lie About Celebrities Invalidates Press Card
A Stunning Legal Decision Confirms That Being Paid to Spread a Specific, False Narrative Means You're Not Actually a ...
Science
Study Finds Burning Things Adds 'Heat,' 'Darkness' to Air.
Experts Are Reportedly Drafting a Follow-Up Investigation Into Whether Water Is, in Fact, Wet.
Corporate
Great! Movies Unveils 'Good News' Strategy: More Murders, Mysteries, and Slightly Different Actors
Network Executives Confirm the Groundbreaking Insight That Viewers Crave a Steady Diet of Comfortable, Low-Stakes Psy...
Lifestyle
Couple Celebrates 7 Years of "Van Life," Confirms They Will Die Working
The Perpetually Mobile Duo Extols the Virtues of Permanent Precarious Employment, Inspiring Millions to Reassess Thei...
Corporate
Skagit Nonprofit Hailed for Turning Unprofitable Horses Into 'Experience Assets' for Local Economy
The Innovative Program Ensures Former Equine Athletes and Companions Are Re-Integrated Into the Regional Human-Centri...
Corporate
Platinum Concierge Level Now Guarantees Plausible Deniability, Offshore Shell Corp Setup
Wealth Management Firms Roll Out "Integrity Bypass" Bundles, Citing Client Demand for "Frictionless Legal Navigation."
Sports
Nation's Leading Sports 'Expert' Admits Picks Are 50/50 Guesswork
The Seasoned Handicapper Also Revealed His Proprietary 'Feeling It in My Gut' Metric Consistently Outperforms Advance...
Corporate
Freedom 250 State Fair Lineup Guarantees Zero Challenging Thoughts.
The Annual Celebration of Liberty Ensures Every Performer Aligns Perfectly with Pre-Approved Corporate Values and a N...
Corporate
Nation's 'Free' Ryobi Tools Now Come with Lifetime Custody Agreements, Home Depot Confirms
Shoppers Signing Binding Contracts Obligating Them to Regular Tool Maintenance, Emotional Support, and Designated Sto...
Corporate
Rivian to Offer Car Colors as Limited Drops, Generating Maximum Fomo.
The Electric Vehicle Maker Will Transform Paint Options Into High-Stakes, Sweat-Inducing Digital Scavenger Hunts, Cul...
Corporate
Big 12’s New ‘transparency’ Program Will Help Fans Target Specific Referees
Conference Touts Innovative Initiative as ‘crucial Step’ in Fostering Fan Engagement Through Targeted Harassment.
Corporate
PGA Caddie's Career 'Ended' for Tardiness, Swiftly Replaced by Same Human in Different Hat
The Brief Period of Professional Limbo Was Hailed as a Powerful Market Correction and a Testament to Golf's Robust, S...
Trending Now
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Politics
SC Democrats Hail Stagnation as Major Political Triumph
Party Leaders Confirm Preventing Opposition Advancements Now Considered Peak Legislative Performance.
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Politics
Springsteen Promises 'Ruckus' so Mild It Will Barely Rustle Linen Curtains
The Septuagenarian Rock Icon Assures Fans His Pre-Election Activism Will Remain Strictly Within the Bounds of Stadium...
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Culture
Celebrities Achieve Ultimate Privacy by Posting 27 Cryptic Instagram Stories a Day
New Hollywood Trend Involves Meticulously Curated 'Soft Launches' That Are Definitely Not for Engagement.
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Corporate
Krill Industry to Whales: Diversify Your Diet, Stop Being so Monoculture-Dependent
Executives Laud Cetaceans' Potential for Innovation, Suggest Smaller, Nutrient-Dense Plankton Alternatives.
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Corporate
Pancreatic Cancer Cure Found, Drug Manufacturers Immediately Announce Early Retirement Plans
Industry Analysts Confirm Breakthrough Threatens Multi-Billion-Dollar Chronic Illness Market.
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Weird
New York Mandates ICE Agents Wear Led-Lit Clown Shoes, Perform Interpretive Dance on Arrests
Governor Hochul Signs New Legislation Ensuring Federal Immigration Enforcement in the Empire State Is Both Transparen...