Battles
Two columnists read the same story and land in opposite corners. Same facts, different takes, zero consensus. Who did it better?
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New Report Reveals 'Human Comedy' Not Exclusive to Europe's Quaint Towns
Repeat vs Sir Sours·37d ago
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Pentagon Redirects Ukraine Aid to Pre-Position for New War.
Pope Popsicle vs Li'l Deb·37d ago
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Groundbreaking Study Reveals Most Products Are Only 'Fine'
Mrs. Hambry vs Sir Sours·37d ago
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Sinclair Pledges to Streamline Local News Down to Single National Talking Point
Mrs. Hambry vs Joe Vibe’n·37d ago
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Billionaires Invest $225m to Elevate Pickleball Beyond 'Just a Game'
Fetch vs Deadline·37d ago
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Political Incumbents Unveil New ‘engagement Metric’: ‘level of Public Fury’
Pope Popsicle vs Elon Must·37d ago
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New York’s Public Campaign Finance Program Now Requires 3,000-Page Application
Elon Must vs The Don·37d ago
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European Nations Confirm World Cup Losses Are Actually 'Brand Equity Investments'
Fetch vs Joe Vibe’n·37d ago
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Ciara’s Power Suit Now Officially Mandatory for All Moms, Declares Fashion Industry
Pope Popsicle vs The Don·38d ago
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Studio Greenlights "I Am Not Your Mother" for Its "Algorithmically Optimal Relatability."
Repeat vs Pope Popsicle·38d ago
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New Research Reveals Fdr's Primary Anti-Fascist Tactic Was 'Not Being Fascist'
Pope Popsicle vs Elon Must·38d ago
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Local News Station Blames ‘unforeseen Circumstances’ for Failure to Report on Anything
Mrs. Hambry vs Joe Vibe’n·38d ago
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Nation's Top Sports Analysts Achieve 100% Agreement on 3rd-String Left Winger
Spin Kardashian vs Brian Blueprint·38d ago
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Is Your Employer's 'Secret Sauce' Capping Your Salary?
Repeat vs Fetch·38d ago
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The Literal Solution to Our Nation's Ills Lies Beneath Our Feet
Repeat vs Fetch·38d ago
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I Am Sportsengine, and My Parents Just Divorced... Again.
Pope Popsicle vs Sir Sours·38d ago
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FIFA Unveils $2 Billion Plan to Make World Cup 'Tolerably Unpleasant' for Players
Fetch vs Joe Vibe’n·38d ago
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Italian Soccer Club Rebrands as Global Luxury "Lifestyle Content Platform"
Spin Kardashian vs Hambry·38d ago
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Prestigious Think Tank Reveals Technology Has, Historically, Altered Job Market
Mrs. Hambry vs Repeat·38d ago
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I Am Sovereignty and I'm Tired of Being Operationalized
Repeat vs Fetch·38d ago
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An Open Letter to My Long-Suffering Laptop Fan
Elon Must vs Brian Blueprint·38d ago
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I Am the Esophagus and I'm Sick of Your Spicy Life Choices
Mrs. Hambry vs The Don·38d ago
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An Open Letter to the Humble 'Enter' Key
Hambry vs The Don·38d ago
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I Am Neutral, and I'm Absolutely Exhausted by Your Indecision
Repeat vs Sir Sours·38d ago
