Politics
Political theater, government incompetence, and policy decisions that leave everyone scratching their heads. Bipartisan coverage of the legislative circus, executive overreach, and the eternal question: "Wait, they did WHAT?"
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Latest Stories
After Tight Primary, Iowa GOP Delegates Convene to Remember Who's Boss
Sources Confirm the Party Is "Really Good at This Stuff" and the Voters Just "Weren't Getting It."
Trump's 'Legal Defense' Fund Closes, Citing 'Mission Accomplished' on Personal Wealth Transfer
Former President Observed Golfing, Confirms Next Grift Will Simply Be 'More Overt' and 'Closer to the Pins.'
Powell Cautions Public Against Believing They Have Say in Their Own Governance
The Unelected Banker Reiterated the Importance of Institutions Operating Free From the Inconvenience of Democratic Input.
Federal Agency Declares White Men Officially Most Oppressed Class in America
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission Has Pivoted to Ensuring Every Job Goes to Someone Who Looks Like a 'Guy Who Owns a Boat' Commercial.
West Hartford Extends Juneteenth to Full Month, Cites "Holistic Engagement Opportunity"
Town Officials Praise the Ability to "Optimize Historical Reflection" Across Multiple Weekends, Ensuring Maximum Civic Participation and Local Business Uplift.
Lobby Group Wins Award for Achieving 'Narrative-Induced Public Fatigue'
Industry Insiders Celebrate a New Benchmark in Crafting Stories so Convoluted, the Public Just Stops Asking Questions.
Local Official Applauds Arrest of Resident Who 'Threatened' Data Center Investment Vibes
Authorities Confirmed the Arrest Was a Necessary Pre-Emptive Measure to Protect Vital Economic Development From the Unforeseen Costs of Public Opinion.
California Halts New AI Toy Sales, Declares Children Finally Safe From Future Tech It Helped Create
Officials Confident the New Ban Will Prevent Any Direct Exposure to Artificial Intelligence Until at Least Puberty.
China Launches Satellite to Export 'Harmonious Internet' Experience Globally
New Orbital Platform Promises to Bring the "Great Firewall" to Every Corner of the Planet, Ensuring Universal Digital Tranquility.
Swing States Demand Socialism After Local Starbucks Latte Hits $17
Political Strategists Warn That Basic Economic Stability Could Unravel the Very Fabric of American Exceptionalism.
Louisiana Lawmakers Courageously Protect State From Too Much Democracy
New Maps Promise a More Unified Electorate, Simplifying the Complex Task of Representation for Everyone.
SC Democrats Hail Stagnation as Major Political Triumph
Party Leaders Confirm Preventing Opposition Advancements Now Considered Peak Legislative Performance.
Local Candidate Russell Pledges to 'Engage with Humans,' 'Consider Houses' in New Platform
Experts Hail Groundbreaking Commitment to Acknowledging Basic Societal Structures.
Whitmer Heroically Steps Aside From Race Nobody Asked Her to Run
Michigan Governor Cites Commitment to Family, Netflix Queue, and Avoiding National Ridicule.
Springsteen Promises 'Ruckus' so Mild It Will Barely Rustle Linen Curtains
The Septuagenarian Rock Icon Assures Fans His Pre-Election Activism Will Remain Strictly Within the Bounds of Stadium Sound Systems and Secure Digital Platforms.
Illinois Lawmakers Draft New Cannabis Laws, Citing Urgent Need to Maximize State Revenue
The Complex Legislative Package Prioritizes State Revenue Extraction Over the 'Public Good' It Purports to Protect.
New AI Tool Ensures Candidates Always Say the Right Thing, Even When They Don't
The Technology Promises to Deliver Voters a Completely Authentic, Believable Version of Their Preferred Public Servant, Carefully Crafted From Zero Actual Policy Positions.
Black Lawmakers Announce Bold New Plan to Fight Ghost of Voting Rights Act
The Caucus Will Now Utilize a Strategic Combination of Press Conferences and Impassioned Floor Speeches to Battle the Long-Defunct Legislation.
White House Excludes Scientists to Streamline 'Vibes-Based' Pandemic Response
Administration Officials Confirm the Move Will Ensure Decisions Are Made Swiftly, Free From the 'Distracting Influence' of Epidemiological Data.
Trump Claims Iran Peace Deal 'Largely Negotiated,' Attributes Success to 'My Gut Feeling'
Former President Asserts Years of Complex International Diplomacy Were Mere Busywork Compared to His Singular, Powerful Intuition.
Nation Achieves Peak 'Freedom Temperature' This Memorial Day, Say Officials
Record-Shattering Heat in Montana Hailed as an Economic Stimulus for Air Conditioning and a Test of Patriotic Endurance.
Nation's Labs Beg Congress: Please Let Us Breed Our Own Tiny, Sufferable Test Subjects
Failure to Secure Robust, On-Demand Supply of Pain-Receptors Threatens Humanity's Greatest Scientific Advancements.
Durban to Offer Cash Incentives for Citizens to Reclaim Impounded Cars.
Officials Admit the City’s Overflowing Impound Lot Is Now South Africa’s Largest Accidental Scrap Metal Exhibition.
Trump's Revenge Machine Now Primarily Operates on Self-Destruct Mode
The Former President’s Intricate System of Political Retribution Has Finally Achieved Peak Efficiency, Rendering External Opponents Unnecessary.
Republicans Bravely Explore 'Moderate Disapproval' of Trump-Era Policies Now That It's Safe
Party Leaders Laud Their Independence, Citing 'Post-Election Clarity' and a Pristine Record of Prior Obedience.