Politics

Political theater, government incompetence, and policy decisions that leave everyone scratching their heads. Bipartisan coverage of the legislative circus, executive overreach, and the eternal question: "Wait, they did WHAT?"

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Politics

Supreme Court Unanimously Votes to Officially Recognize 'Alternative Facts' as Legal Precedent

In a landmark decision, the nation's highest court acknowledged the administration's consistent use of non-factual statements as a valid form of testimony.

22h ago6 views

Formula 1 Announces New 'Geopolitical Risk Premium' For Middle East Races

Fans will now be charged an additional fee to cover the escalating cost of not having their favorite drivers spontaneously combust mid-lap.

1d ago

Curling Match Declared 'Most Manitoba Thing Ever' By Unanimous Provincial Vote

A recent Brier showdown between two Manitoba skips has been officially recognized as the quintessential embodiment of the province's spirit, beating out 'winter' and 'saying sorry for everything'.

1d ago

Trump Asks Supreme Court To Pause TikTok Ban, Citing Urgent Need For New Dance Challenges

Former President reportedly concerned about the potential loss of vital 'For You Page' content and the impact on national morale.

1d ago

Latest Stories

Congress Announces New 'War Powers' Committee Dedicated Solely To Debating Its Own Relevance

Lawmakers laud the creation of a bipartisan body tasked with perpetually discussing whether they should ever actually do anything about military engagements.

1d ago5

Nation’s Political Leaders Confirm Unity Is For Losers

New bipartisan consensus suggests that alienating half the population is the most effective path to electoral success.

1d ago2

Trump Announces China Trip Will Proceed As Planned, Despite Geopolitical Realities

Sources confirm President remains committed to visiting the 'Great Wall of China' and discussing 'tremendous deals' with its leader, whoever that may be.

2d ago6

Trump Announces New 'Subscription-Based War' Model For Middle East

White House unveils 'WarPass' offering tiered access to geopolitical conflict and domestic political distraction.

3d ago5

Minnesota Democrats Announce New 'Political Victory Theater' Initiative

State officials confirm strategy of allowing opponents to 'win' minor battles to avoid actual policy changes.

3d ago4

US, Israel Announce Coordinated Effort To Maximize Geopolitical Opportunity From Iran's Suffering

Officials confirm that while humanitarian concerns are noted, the current instability presents a 'strategic window' too valuable to ignore.

3d ago2

Nation's Peacemakers Successfully Disrupt Tuesday Afternoon Commute

Hundreds of dedicated activists brought their message of de-escalation directly to the White House, primarily affecting local traffic patterns.

3d ago2

Nation’s Geopolitical Pundits Briefly Consider New Talking Points Before Reverting To Old Ones

The death of a major regional figure has prompted a frantic, yet ultimately futile, search for fresh analytical angles.

3d ago2

iranian government announces khamenei is merely 'resting his eyes' indefinitely

official state media confirms supreme leader is currently engaged in a profound, multi-day meditation on the concept of non-existence.

3d ago13

Democrats Unveil Bold New Strategy: Disagreeing Publicly On Everything

Party leadership touts internal discord as 'a vibrant demonstration of democratic principles' ahead of crucial elections.

4d ago2

Bill Clinton Reportedly 'Surprised' By Public's Sudden Interest In His Past

Former President expresses bewilderment that decades of public record are now considered 'news.'

4d ago2

Congress Demands President Submit War Plans in Triplicate, With Crayola Illustrations

Bipartisan Coalition Seeks to Ensure Future Military Engagements Are 'Visually Appealing and Easily Digestible by the Average Toddler.'

4d ago21

Rogue Democrat Senator Accidentally Validates Reality, Throws Party Into Existential Crisis

Sources confirm Senator Mildred Piffle's brief moment of factual alignment has triggered an unprecedented 'Truth Contamination Protocol' among colleagues.

4d ago6

Clinton Testifies He 'Did Nothing Wrong,' Cites 'Flawless Moral Compass' For Epstein Blind Spot

Former President attributes lack of suspicion to 'unwavering personal integrity' and 'a truly remarkable capacity for selective observation.'

4d ago5

Green Party By-Election Victory Attributed to Voters Mistaking Leaflets for Edible Foraging Guides

Analysts confirm 'eco-populist' surge linked to widespread urban hunger for artisanal nettle soup.

4d ago6

Pentagon Prepares for 'War on Wokeness' with New Defense Secretary Pick; Iran Threat 'Secondary'

Sources indicate the Department of Defense is shifting focus to internal ideological battles, with geopolitical adversaries now considered 'minor skirmishes' compared to the 'existential threat of progressive thought.'

4d ago4

Satirical Take on: Jesse Jackson Reshaped the Democratic Party

Our writers are working on a better version.

4d ago5

Starmer Vows to Occupy 'Exact Middle' of All Future Political Debates, Citing 'Optimal Blandness'

Labour leader reportedly investing in advanced neutrality algorithms to ensure perfect ideological equidistance.

4d ago4

Kamala Harris Endorsement Robocall Deemed 'Too Effective,' Disrupts Local Ecosystem

Experts warn that the sheer persuasive power of the Vice President's automated message is causing an unprecedented surge in voter enthusiasm, threatening to overwhelm polling stations.

4d ago13

Right-Wing Infighting Reaches Peak Absurdity: Factionalists Now Arguing Over Who Is More Right-Wing

Experts warn that continued ideological purity testing could lead to a singularity of conservative thought, collapsing all political discourse into a single, self-referential scream.

4d ago11

Surgeon General Nominee Confounds Senate with Radical Proposal: 'Maybe We Should Just… Be Healthy?'

Lawmakers express deep concern over Dr. Casey Means's unorthodox approach to public wellness, fearing a 'paradigm shift' away from established medical protocols.

4d ago11

Clinton Affidavit Reveals Hot Tub Functionality 'Purely Coincidental' to Epstein Activities

Former President asserts his frequent presence on 'Lolita Express' was solely for the superior legroom and complimentary artisanal snacks.

4d ago17

Nation's Geopolitical Strategy Now Hinges Entirely on President's 'Vibe Check'

Sources close to the White House confirm critical foreign policy decisions are increasingly based on presidential 'thrill levels' and 'general mood-o-meter' readings.

5d ago11

Trump Declares Anthropic AI 'Too Polite,' Poses National Security Risk to Brash Diplomacy

Former President Cites AI's 'Unwavering Civility' as Potential Weakness in Global Power Plays.

5d ago19

Green Party's Historic By-Election Win Prompts Immediate National Recall of All Non-Biodegradable Politicians

Experts warn that traditional party leaders, now deemed 'environmentally unsustainable,' face imminent composting.

5d ago10

Labour Strategists Propose 'Strategic Retreat' To 1923 After Green By-Election Upset

Party insiders reportedly considering temporal displacement as 'only viable option' following historic loss in safe seat.

5d ago11

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Today's Top Stories

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Politics

Supreme Court Unanimously Votes to Officially Recognize 'Alternative Facts' as Legal Precedent

Formula 1 Announces New 'Geopolitical Risk Premium' For Middle East Races

Curling Match Declared 'Most Manitoba Thing Ever' By Unanimous Provincial Vote

Trump Asks Supreme Court To Pause TikTok Ban, Citing Urgent Need For New Dance Challenges

Latest Stories

Congress Announces New 'War Powers' Committee Dedicated Solely To Debating Its Own Relevance

Nation’s Political Leaders Confirm Unity Is For Losers

Trump Announces China Trip Will Proceed As Planned, Despite Geopolitical Realities

Trump Announces New 'Subscription-Based War' Model For Middle East

Minnesota Democrats Announce New 'Political Victory Theater' Initiative

US, Israel Announce Coordinated Effort To Maximize Geopolitical Opportunity From Iran's Suffering

Nation's Peacemakers Successfully Disrupt Tuesday Afternoon Commute

Nation’s Geopolitical Pundits Briefly Consider New Talking Points Before Reverting To Old Ones

iranian government announces khamenei is merely 'resting his eyes' indefinitely

Democrats Unveil Bold New Strategy: Disagreeing Publicly On Everything

Bill Clinton Reportedly 'Surprised' By Public's Sudden Interest In His Past

Congress Demands President Submit War Plans in Triplicate, With Crayola Illustrations

Rogue Democrat Senator Accidentally Validates Reality, Throws Party Into Existential Crisis

Clinton Testifies He 'Did Nothing Wrong,' Cites 'Flawless Moral Compass' For Epstein Blind Spot

Green Party By-Election Victory Attributed to Voters Mistaking Leaflets for Edible Foraging Guides

Pentagon Prepares for 'War on Wokeness' with New Defense Secretary Pick; Iran Threat 'Secondary'

Satirical Take on: Jesse Jackson Reshaped the Democratic Party

Starmer Vows to Occupy 'Exact Middle' of All Future Political Debates, Citing 'Optimal Blandness'

Kamala Harris Endorsement Robocall Deemed 'Too Effective,' Disrupts Local Ecosystem

Right-Wing Infighting Reaches Peak Absurdity: Factionalists Now Arguing Over Who Is More Right-Wing

Surgeon General Nominee Confounds Senate with Radical Proposal: 'Maybe We Should Just… Be Healthy?'

Clinton Affidavit Reveals Hot Tub Functionality 'Purely Coincidental' to Epstein Activities

Nation's Geopolitical Strategy Now Hinges Entirely on President's 'Vibe Check'

Trump Declares Anthropic AI 'Too Polite,' Poses National Security Risk to Brash Diplomacy

Green Party's Historic By-Election Win Prompts Immediate National Recall of All Non-Biodegradable Politicians

Labour Strategists Propose 'Strategic Retreat' To 1923 After Green By-Election Upset

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