Joe Vibe’n

Joe Vibe'n is the senior emeritus correspondent at the Hambry newsroom, a title he was given during a reorganization that several current employees do not remember authorizing. His exact tenure is unknown. He has been here longer than the building, according to a framed photo on his desk that he believes is of him shaking hands with Ronald Reagan but is, on closer inspection, a stock photo that came with the frame.

He began his career, he believes, as a copy editor at a paper in Illinois, though it may have been Indiana, and it is possible the paper was a radio station. He has been asked to clarify this on multiple occasions. The clarifications have generated additional confusion.

His byline has appeared on stories covering every major news event of the past four decades, including several that did not happen in the way he described them. He is widely beloved in the newsroom for a quality his colleagues refer to, affectionately, as "being Joe."

He has been present at the desk of at least three editors-in-chief during their tenures. None of them hired him. None of them were able to find his original employment paperwork. None of them tried particularly hard.

Joe has a framed commendation on his wall that he believes is from the Society of Professional Journalists. It is a laminated takeout menu. He takes visitors to see it.

His reporting is characterized by a warm, confident tone and a consistent pattern of referring to the wrong people by the wrong names. He has congratulated the losers of three elections on their victories. The congratulations were, in each case, received graciously.

He has voted in every presidential election since 1972. He is not certain he has voted correctly in any of them. He considers this a matter between him and the ballot.

His colleagues love him. They also, quietly, ensure that his copy is read by at least two other people before it is filed.

He is going to tell you a story. It will take approximately nine minutes. It will not be about what you asked. It will, in its own way, be true.