Well, Jack, here I am, reporting live and in person from lovely... uh... from the heart of the action, right here in the great state of Oklahoma City! And let me tell you, what a story we've got brewing, Jack. The Kansas City Commanders – that's what they're called, right? – are just absolutely turning the league on its head, aren't they? Yes, indeed. I remember back in '78, when the Atlanta Falcons tried something similar with their quadruple option – oh, it was a sight to behold, Jack, a real sight! But I digress.

They're talking about getting another one of those big fellas, you know, the ones who catch the ball, a second one. Now, they've already got that young man, Travis Kelsea, I believe his name is. A fine young lad, always shaking hands after the game. I saw him once, years ago, when he was just starting out, playing for the… well, I forget the exact college, but he had a real good arm, I remember that. A strong arm. He could throw it a mile! Now, they say he’s a tight end... a receiver, I suppose. And a good one too, if I do say so myself. Makes all the plays.

But now they're going after this other fella, Brock Armstrong, or something like that. From the Cincinnati Kittens, I think. Heard he had a real breakout season, nearly a thousand yards running the ball, and a good handful of touchdowns too. Scored from midfield one time, didn't he? They say he's going to make their offense 'tight-heavy.' Now, I'm not entirely sure what that means, Jack. Perhaps they're going to use more… tight formations? Like the old 'Notre Dame Box' they used to run, where everyone was just stacked up. It certainly made for a challenging defense to penetrate, a real challenge. My cousin, he played guard for the Fighting Irish back in the day, said it was all about grit, all about grit. Anyway.

So, they're going to have two of these… these tight-heavy players. It’s certainly a bold strategy, isn't it? Very bold. Reminds me of when the Chargers tried to win the Super Bowl with three placekickers. Didn’t work out so well for them, but you have to admire the spirit, the sheer nerve of it, Jack! You just have to. It shows moxie, pure moxie. I just hope they don't get too… top-heavy with all these big fellows, if you know what I mean. You need a good balance, Jack, a good balance. Oh, and congratulations to the Cleveland Browns for their recent success, they've really turned things around! Keep up the good work, fellas.

God bless America, and God bless our brave troops!