#nasa

Agency Prioritizes Cosmic Oddities Over Earth's 'Normal, Common, Utterly Predictable' Problems Like Hunger and Climate Change.

Former President Explained His 'Strategic Cancellation Attempts' Were Merely a Long-Term Motivation Technique for NASA Scientists.

The Webb's Successor Promises Unprecedented Celestial Views and Real-Time Biometric Data From Your Backyard Barbecue.

Agency Spokespeople Confirm the "Black Eye Galaxy" Image Will Be Printed on a Mousepad for Optimal Public Engagement and Inter-Galactic Brand Awareness.

The Space Agency Confirmed the Multi-Billion Dollar Instrument Is in "Good Health" and Ready to Perform Unprecedented Research at the Solar System's Edge, Which Is Definitely a Thing.

The Psyche Spacecraft's "Gravity Assist" From Mars Reportedly to Capture the Red Planet's Most Flattering Light for Future Cosmic Tinder Profiles.

Agency Touts Plan as "Innovative Deep-Sea Repurposing" Despite Environmentalists Calling It "Literally a Giant Space Crash."

Agency confirms billions of tons of frozen water exist, states unequivocally that Earth’s municipal supply issues remain local.

Nasa's Announcement of Critical Aerospace Contributions from Moog, Inc. Prompts Widespread Public Disappointment among Space-Synth Enthusiasts.

Officials Confirm Cosmic Photography Now Considered Mission-Critical Alongside Actual Science.

Experts Confirm Meteor Strikes Provide 'Invaluable Data' Proving Future Lunar Colonization Will Be Astronomically Expensive.

The Space Agency Declares a New Era of Optical Understanding After a Crew Member Photographed a Cargo Ship Appearing Smaller when Further Away.

NASA Officials Confirm Crew Is "Experiencing Acute Eloquence Deficits" and Have Been Cleared for Non-Verbal Communications Only.

Artemis II Crew Successfully Wastes Taxpayer Money Proving the Moon Is Still Exactly where We Left It.

Following Artemis II Success, Agency Confirms Future Lunar Missions Hinge on Billionaire Competitive Urges, Personal Schedules.

The Multi-Billion Dollar Capsule and Its Highly Trained Occupants Successfully Completed Their Pre-Planned Trip Around the Moon, Achieving All Previously Announced Objectives of Not Exploding.

After Billions of Dollars, the Highly Anticipated Space Capsule Achieved a Successful Return to the Planet It Departed From.

Dallas-Fort Worth Residents Advised to Anticipate Potential "Celestial Precipitation" Alongside Customary Spring Allergens.

Agency Cites Irreplaceable "Human Touch" in a Process Widely Considered Automatable by Offshore Wind Farm Maintenance Crews.

A "Historic" Mission Concludes without Discovering Any Celestial Solutions for Earth's Persistent Socioeconomic Challenges.

The Agency Confirms Billions Have Been Reallocated to Study the 'Unfathomable Kinetic Energy' of Seemingly Innocuous Compression Devices.

The Agency Acknowledges that Humanity's Farthest Reach into Space Will Inevitably Include Calls About Forgotten Passwords and 'Unplugging It and Plugging It Back In.'

NASA Confirms Next Crewed Lunar Flight, Artemis II, Remains Fully Beholden to Basic Atmospheric Conditions, despite Advanced Propulsion and Guidance Systems.

Agency Officials Are Reportedly Exhausted from Pre-Emptively Denying a Prank Involving Four Astronauts and Billions in Taxpayer Dollars.

A Newly Formed Interstellar Courtesy Office Initiates "Project Helios Harmony" to Request Better Behavior from Our Primary Star.