Hambry

The News, Remastered

Hambry

#chicago bears

Satirical news and humor about the Chicago Bears. Read funny articles, takes, and mock reports on the legendary NFL team's latest stories.

Local Man Stunned to Learn Chicago Bears Once Played in Decatur, Illinois
The Revelation Sends Shockwaves Through Local Sports Bars, Prompting Existential Crises Over Civic Identity and the Nature of Professional Athletics.
EA Sports, Bears Collude to Ritualistically Immolate Caleb Williams for Madden 27 Cover
The High-Profile Placement Ensures Maximum Exposure Before the Franchise Quarterback Inevitably Crumbles Under the Weight of an Ancient, Unavoidable Curse.
Bears Demand Legal Standing for Future Draft Pick, Citing 'Unborn Player' Rights
The Team's Appeal of a Rescinded Compensatory Pick Focuses on the Potential Existence and Intrinsic Value of a Player Who Has Not yet Been Drafted, or Even Born.

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