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Explore satirical news about Hollywood. Aggregated articles on celebrity antics, movie industry trends, and Tinseltown's absurdities

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Latest Stories

Hollywood Focus Group Stunned to Learn Audiences Prefer Dinosaurs in 'Jurassic Park'
hollywood

Hollywood Focus Group Stunned to Learn Audiences Prefer Dinosaurs in 'Jurassic Park'

After Decades of Multi-Billion Dollar Films, Universal Executives Credit a New Netflix Animated Series for Uncovering the Franchise’s Core Appeal.

May 9
"Michael" Sets Records: Audiences Prefer Easy Answers
hollywood

"Michael" Sets Records: Audiences Prefer Easy Answers

Industry Analysts Confirm That Complex Legacies Are Best Consumed When Stripped of Inconvenient Realities.

Apr 28
Studio Confirms 'Devil Wears Prada 2' Will Be 100% Celebrity Cameos
hollywood

Studio Confirms 'Devil Wears Prada 2' Will Be 100% Celebrity Cameos

Sources Indicate the Highly Anticipated Sequel Will Forgo a Traditional Narrative in Favor of a Continuous Parade of Famous Faces, Each Delivering a Single Line or Reaction Shot.

Apr 27
MERYL Streep's 'Prada 2' OUTFIT IS a WARNING TO US All: THE END OF REALITY IS NIGH
hollywood

MERYL Streep's 'Prada 2' OUTFIT IS a WARNING TO US All: THE END OF REALITY IS NIGH

The Glitzy Premiere of a Long-Awaited Sequel Is Not Mere Entertainment; It's a Sinister Signal That Our Grip on Tangible Reality Is Slipping.

1 views·Apr 21
Studio Confirms Hathaway's 'Serious' Work Trumps Royal Fan Demand
hollywood

Studio Confirms Hathaway's 'Serious' Work Trumps Royal Fan Demand

The Long-Awaited 'Princess Diaries 3' Remains in Development Hell as the Oscar-Winner Pursues Projects with 'Less Glitter' and 'More Grim Introspection.'

1 views·Apr 21
Studio Execs Declare Victory as Audiences Flock to Same Content They Watched Decades Ago
hollywood

Studio Execs Declare Victory as Audiences Flock to Same Content They Watched Decades Ago

The Overwhelming Success of Ip-Driven Films Proves Hollywood's 'No New Ideas' Strategy Is Finally Paying Off.

1 views·Apr 21
New AI Guarantees 'Spontaneous' Celebrity Viral Moments
hollywood

New AI Guarantees 'Spontaneous' Celebrity Viral Moments

Leading PR Firm Unveils 'Authenticity-Gpt' to Engineer Natural-Looking Gaffes and Candid Revelations on Demand.

Apr 18
Studio Execs Greenlight 'You, Me and the Faces of Death' for Its 'Timely Grimness'
hollywood

Studio Execs Greenlight 'You, Me and the Faces of Death' for Its 'Timely Grimness'

Industry Insiders Laud the Decision, Citing a Clear Market Demand for Films that 'Sound Important.'

1 views·Apr 16
Celebs 'Stepping Back' to Manage Their Colossal Wealth: New Study
hollywood

Celebs 'Stepping Back' to Manage Their Colossal Wealth: New Study

Industry Experts Confirm a-Listers Frequently Require Extensive Personal Time to Process the Sheer Volume of Assets, Investments, and Luxury Brand Partnership Offers.

1 views·Apr 14
Studio Announces 'Legally Blonde' Prequel, Citing 'Finite Number of New Thoughts'
hollywood

Studio Announces 'Legally Blonde' Prequel, Citing 'Finite Number of New Thoughts'

Executives Confirm the Decision Came After an Exhaustive Internal Audit Found All Truly Original Ideas Had Been 'Spoken For' by Existing Intellectual Properties.

Apr 13
Spielberg Shelves Robot Apocalypse, Deems Global Destruction 'Too Expensive'
hollywood

Spielberg Shelves Robot Apocalypse, Deems Global Destruction 'Too Expensive'

The Veteran Director Reportedly Found the Cost of Realistically Obliterating Human Civilization Prohibitive for Current Market Conditions.

Apr 12
'Faces of Death' Remake Aims for True Horror by Carefully Avoiding Anything Real
hollywood

'Faces of Death' Remake Aims for True Horror by Carefully Avoiding Anything Real

The Production Team Vows to Craft Every Gruesome Scene with Unparalleled Artificiality, Ensuring No Actual Human Suffering Contaminates the Artistic Vision.

Apr 12
Studio Greenlights 'Devil Wears Prada 2' Marketing, Film Remains Conceptual
hollywood

Studio Greenlights 'Devil Wears Prada 2' Marketing, Film Remains Conceptual

Executives Confirm Full Promotional Blitz for the Rumored Sequel Will Precede Any Actual Production.

Apr 12
Screenwriters Praise AI for Solving Hollywood's Villain Shortage
hollywood

Screenwriters Praise AI for Solving Hollywood's Villain Shortage

Industry Insiders Laud the Algorithm for Reducing the Need for Costly Human Antagonists, Citing Improved Efficiency in Terror Production.

Apr 11
Groundbreaking Report Confirms Actors with Chemistry Also Enjoy off-Screen Rapport
hollywood

Groundbreaking Report Confirms Actors with Chemistry Also Enjoy off-Screen Rapport

Decades of Anecdotal Evidence Now Backed by Definitive, Multi-Year Study of Showbiz Partnerships.

Apr 11
Hollywood Producers Stunned to Learn Video Games Contain Narratives
hollywood

Hollywood Producers Stunned to Learn Video Games Contain Narratives

A New Report Reveals Years of Intricate Storytelling in Gaming Were Missed Due to Industry Assumptions About 'Button-Mashing' and 'Nerd Stuff.'

Apr 10
Study Confirms Rock Songs Make Horror Movies Effective, Studios Surprised.
hollywood

Study Confirms Rock Songs Make Horror Movies Effective, Studios Surprised.

Executives Express Shock at Findings, Immediately Announce New Departments for "Auditory Emotional Integration."

Apr 10
Casting Director Seeks Actors Who Can 'Convey Authority while Understanding Nothing'
hollywood

Casting Director Seeks Actors Who Can 'Convey Authority while Understanding Nothing'

Hollywood Industry Insiders Admit the Role of 'Senator' Is Increasingly Easy to Cast, Requiring Minimal Actual Policy Knowledge and Maximum Performative Outrage.

Apr 10
Hollywood Confirms Putting Popular Character in Movie Remains Lucrative
hollywood

Hollywood Confirms Putting Popular Character in Movie Remains Lucrative

Industry Insiders Laud Groundbreaking Strategy of Leveraging Known Brands for Financial Gain, Hailing 'Recognition-Based Financial Symbiosis' as the Future.

Apr 10
Hollywood Luminaries Declare Keanu Reeves 'Sole Moral Compass' of Modern Cinema
hollywood

Hollywood Luminaries Declare Keanu Reeves 'Sole Moral Compass' of Modern Cinema

Legendary Director Martin Scorsese and Actor Jonah Hill Issued a Joint Declaration Solidifying Keanu Reeves's Pivotal, Almost Spiritual, Role in Guiding the Industry's Ethical Future.

Apr 10
Study Confirms Studio Successfully Engineered Global Affection for Alien Rock
hollywood

Study Confirms Studio Successfully Engineered Global Affection for Alien Rock

Hollywood's Latest Blockbusters Are Proving Audiences Will Anthropomorphize Anything, Given Enough Budget.

1 views·Apr 8
'Super Mario Galaxy Movie' Proves Original Thought No Longer Needed
hollywood

'Super Mario Galaxy Movie' Proves Original Thought No Longer Needed

The Entertainment Industry, Flush with Cash, Pivots Entirely to Adapting Obscure Video Game Loading Screens.

1 views·Apr 7
Critics Laud Pizza Movie as the Definitive Cinematic Experience
hollywood

Critics Laud Pizza Movie as the Definitive Cinematic Experience

Major Outlets Have Unanimously Praised 'Pizza: the Movie' for Its Groundbreaking Exploration of Cheese and Toppings, Predicting Numerous Industry Awards.

Apr 7
Audiences Once Again Demonstrate Preference for Known Intellectual Property
hollywood

Audiences Once Again Demonstrate Preference for Known Intellectual Property

Studio Executives Report Shock, Relief After Discovering Familiarity Reliably Generates Billions.

1 views·Apr 7
Hollywood's IP Engines Back Online After Brief Human Interface Glitch
hollywood

Hollywood's IP Engines Back Online After Brief Human Interface Glitch

Industry Relieved as Content Pipeline Restarts, Ensuring Consistent Flow of Marketable Intellectual Property.

Apr 6
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