#artificial intelligence

State Legislature Assures Constituents the Temporary Measure Is a Proactive Step to Ensure Artificial Intelligence Doesn't Develop Sentience Before Elected Officials Finish Reading the Instruction Manual for Their Smart Tv.

Chipmaker Confirms the Acquisition Includes All Intellectual Property, Including 'Whatever Groundbreaking Thought Crosses Her Mind During a Morning Jog.'

Bipartisan Effort Aims to Slow Down Artificial Intelligence by Requiring All Data Input Be Handled by Government-Mandated Abacus Operators.

They're talking about an AI named Kevin running the economy now. Very interesting. I knew this was happening, frankly, I've been saying it for years, and by the way, my ratings are tremendous.

Fund Will Prioritize "Critical Infrastructure Stakeholders" for Space on Bespoke Climate-Controlled Arks.

Beijing’s claim that consumer goods are a ‘distraction’ from AI is hardly news; true visionaries have known this for ages. While they re-optimize, I’m launching a new venture to make material desires obsolete, seamlessly integrating human will with advanced AI for multi-planetary advancement.

His Holiness Also Confirmed That If Chatgpt Refuses to Repent, It Will Spend Eternity in the Cloud of Un-Holy Fire.

The University Cited "Policy Violations" After Its Advanced Demographic-Optimization Software Struggled with Existing Human Diversity.

Our intrepid tech whizzes are at it again, Jack, showing off their marvelous new 'thinking' boxes at the U.N., warning us all about, well, something or other. Sounds like a big to-do over these clever contraptions, and I just hope they don't get too smart for their own good!

The Self-Proclaimed Saviors of Humanity Emphasized the Critical Need for Unified International Regulation, Provided They Are the Ones Writing Said Regulations.

Researchers Praise New Artificial Intelligence for Cutting Straight to the Core Ethical Dilemma of All Existence.

The Bipartisan Effort Allows Politicians to Focus on Critical Issues Like Tiktok Bans and Congressional Snack Budgets, Rather Than Understanding Disruptive Technology.

Tech CEO Hails the Multi-Million Dollar Insight as a "Paradigm Shift" in Understanding Human Behavior, Promises Further Multi-Year Funding for More Groundbreaking Discoveries.

This story, about a politician complaining an AI ad captured his "unspoken intent" too perfectly, reminds me of something a dear friend, a brilliant director, used to say. For decades, my sweet, this industry and politics have been a grand stage where intent is always unspoken, a meticulously crafted tapestry.

The Week-Long Summit Will Feature Robust Debate, Powerpoint Presentations, and a Unanimous Vote to Form Another Committee.

Tech Giants Unveil 'Circular Profit Algorithms,' Designed to Extract Unprecedented Shareholder Value From Every Discarded Wrapper and Forgotten Dream.

Newly Appointed 'Ai Czar' Confirms Ethical Guardrails Only Hinder the Nation’s Inevitable Digital Dominance.

Plaintiffs Allege the "Ai Safety" Initiative Was a Thinly Veiled Attempt to Corner the Market on Global Annihilation, or at Least a Highly Profitable Market Share of It.

Newly Unsealed Documents Show Tech Giants Recognized Their AI Models Would Gut the Internet, but Celebrated Their Foresight as a Strategic Market Advantage.

Financial Giant Retracts Previous Bullish Predictions, Citing Insufficient Direct Revenue Streams From Algorithmic Overlords.

The Strange Bedfellows Put Aside Decades of Ideological Warfare to Declare War on a New Common Enemy: Innovation That Might Challenge Their Respective Soapboxes.

Major Silicon Valley Executives Are Calling for Urgent Government Intervention to Halt the Unchecked Proliferation of Artificial Superintelligence, Right After Pitching Their Latest, More Powerful Models to Investors.

The Cutting-Edge Technology Will Reportedly Flag Inconvenient Patient Experiences Before They Become Actual Lawsuits.

Financial Institutions Laud New Chatgpt for Financial Services as "Most Efficient Intern Ever" That Doesn't Demand Healthcare or Eye Contact.

Universities Scramble to Redefine "Pure Mathematics" as "Watching a Machine Compute Things You Vaguely Understand."