CorporateFlorida, Texas Residents Invited to Play 'Meat Roulette' with Argentine Beef
USDA Assures Public That Any Lingering "Serious Issues" Will Likely Resolve Themselves After a Few Days of Intense Gastrointestinal Distress.
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CorporateUSDA Assures Public That Any Lingering "Serious Issues" Will Likely Resolve Themselves After a Few Days of Intense Gastrointestinal Distress.
CorporateIndustry Experts Baffled by the Public's Unrealistic Demand for Pathogen-Free Processed Produce.
PoliticsThe USDA Announced New, Sweeping Measures to Protect the Nation's 4.7 Domestic Poultry Units From Existential Threats, Ensuring No Backyard Hen-Owner Will Ever Sleep Soundly Again.
PoliticsA Blue-Ribbon Panel of Culinary and National Security Advisors Warns of Potential "Flavor Degradation and Public Confusion."
CorporateThe USDA Says the Minimal Rise in Contamination and Worker Injuries Is an Acceptable Trade-off for Enhanced Corporate Profit Margins.

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