Nation’s Drivers Reminded That Economic Indicators Are Merely Suggestions
As gas prices hit a record high for what analysts are calling 'President Trump’s unprecedented second term,' experts advise Americans to simply adjust their expectations.
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Pentagon Replaces Entire Human Workforce With Single OpenAI Chatbot After Expedited Procurement Process
Defense Department hails 'unprecedented efficiency' as new AI assistant, 'General Algorithm,' assumes all strategic and coffee-making duties.
President Trump's SOTU Address Declares Nation 'Great Again, Again,' Citing Record-Breaking Gold-Plated Toilet Sales
In a historic address, the President unveiled a new 17-point plan to achieve 'Peak Greatness,' including mandatory daily patriotism drills and a national 'Make America Smile Again' initiative.
