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#minnesota twins

Satirical news and humor articles about the Minnesota Twins. Features funny takes, parodies, and comedic reporting on the baseball team and its events

Nation's Hopes Now Ride Solely on Byron Buxton's Next At-Bat
Analysts Confirm the Precarious Balance of Civilization Hinges on the Slugger's Ability to Replicate Tuesday's Two-Homer Performance Against the Marlins.
I Am the Bullpen Mound and I Dream of the Bullpen Catcher's Retirement
For Centuries, I Have Silently Endured the Indignities of Professional Baseball, but My Earthen Patience Has Its Limits.
The F-Bomb Heard 'Round the World Was a Blessing, Not a Blunder
The Recent "Scandal" Involving an On-Air Outburst Wasn't a Mistake; It Was a Revelation of What Truly Fuels the American Pastime.
Rays Win Series, Global Issues Remain Completely Unresolved
Despite Widespread Fan Elation, Experts Confirm Game Outcome Had No Measurable Impact on Housing Crisis, Geopolitical Stability, or Gas Prices.
Orioles Victory Averts Catastrophic Downturn in Regional Morale Metrics
The Baltimore Win against the Minnesota Twins Is Now Cited as Directly Responsible for Preventing a Projected 1.7% Dip in Local Citizen Emotional Output.

#minnesota twins

Nation's Hopes Now Ride Solely on Byron Buxton's Next At-Bat

I Am the Bullpen Mound and I Dream of the Bullpen Catcher's Retirement

The F-Bomb Heard 'Round the World Was a Blessing, Not a Blunder

Rays Win Series, Global Issues Remain Completely Unresolved

Orioles Victory Averts Catastrophic Downturn in Regional Morale Metrics

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