CEO Declares Personal Day A Bold Act Of 'Economic Rebalancing'
Local executive's spontaneous golf outing hailed as pioneering research into national productivity metrics.
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#corporate culture
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Silicon Valley Executives Express Confusion Over New Satire, Claim It's Just A Documentary
Tech leaders reportedly baffled by 'The Audacity,' insisting the film's 'monstrous' characters are merely 'disruptive visionaries' on a Tuesday.
ArcBest Executives Baffled By Concept Of 'Not More Profit Than Last Quarter'
Company reports 'disappointing' earnings, citing an unprecedented market condition where profits merely existed.
Costco CEO Discovers Revolutionary New Business Model: Answering His Own Damn Emails
Industry experts baffled as Ron Vachris demonstrates that reading and responding to correspondence is, in fact, possible for a chief executive.
Corporate Leadership Reportedly 'Blindsided' By Employees Wanting To Live Past 40
A new study reveals a shocking disconnect between C-suite expectations and the average worker's desire for basic biological functions.
Nation's Most Reliable CEO Fired For Lack Of 'Disruptive Unpredictability'
Board members cite consistent profitability and employee retention as signs of a dangerous comfort zone.
CNN Staff Begin Practicing Dramatic Slow-Motion Walks, Anticipating Paramount-Mandated 'Emotional Journey' Programming
Network executives reportedly scouting locations for 'meaningful' rain-soaked monologues as takeover looms.
New Corporate Initiative to Build Trust Through Mandatory 'Blindfolded Trust Falls' and 'Confession Booth Fridays'
Employees report feeling 'significantly more bonded' after being forced to divulge deepest fears to HR-approved 'Trust Facilitators.'
