DHS Nominee Mullin Promises To Run Border Like Highly Profitable Cattle Ranch
The Oklahoma senator, known for his extensive property portfolio, assured critics his business acumen translates perfectly to national security.
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#border security
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Rogue Democrat Senator Accidentally Validates Reality, Throws Party Into Existential Crisis
Sources confirm Senator Mildred Piffle's brief moment of factual alignment has triggered an unprecedented 'Truth Contamination Protocol' among colleagues.
GOP Unveils 'Border Wall of Emotion' Strategy After SOTU Immigration Pivot
New plan involves deploying highly-trained empathy-blocking agents and 3D-printed tears to secure the southern frontier.
