ScienceSpace Crew Launches, Relieved to Escape Earth's Crumbling Infrastructure
Four Humans Embark on Orbital Vacation, Leaving Behind a Planet Actively Trying to Kill Itself.
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ScienceFour Humans Embark on Orbital Vacation, Leaving Behind a Planet Actively Trying to Kill Itself.
CorporateAgency Touts Plan as "Innovative Deep-Sea Repurposing" Despite Environmentalists Calling It "Literally a Giant Space Crash."
CorporateOfficials Confirm Cosmic Photography Now Considered Mission-Critical Alongside Actual Science.
CorporateThe Multi-Billion Dollar International Space Station Declared a Simple Optical Illusion Its Most Impactful Public Outreach Achievement to Date.
ScienceThe Space Agency Declares a New Era of Optical Understanding After a Crew Member Photographed a Cargo Ship Appearing Smaller when Further Away.
PoliticsEvery Time an Astronaut Snickers at My Ephemeral Dance, a Piece of My Non-Existent Soul Shatters into a Billion Photons.

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