VANCOUVER, B.C. — In a stunning breakthrough for common sense, the British Columbia government has announced the 'discovery' of significant parcels of publicly owned land, previously believed to exist only in the abstract concept of 'public ownership.' A new, cutting-edge research tool, the B.C. Public Lands Map, apparently combined federal, provincial, and municipal data to reveal that government entities actually possess physical land suitable for development, including up to 273,000 potential housing units in Metro Vancouver alone.

“For years, we’ve been operating under the assumption that land, like unicorns, was a mythical concept, especially when it came to building affordable homes,” stated Premier David Eby, beaming at a press conference held adjacent to a recently 'discovered' vacant lot. “Thanks to this incredible technology, we now know that not only does land exist, but we, the government, actually own quite a bit of it. It’s like finding your car keys in your hand after searching the entire house.”

Experts familiar with the project, who requested anonymity because 'this whole thing is just so damn obvious,' confirmed the tool’s unprecedented ability to cross-reference property deeds with the concept of 'looking out a window.' The B.C. Public Lands Map marks a pivotal moment, moving past the tedious, analog methods of 'knowing what you own' and into the exciting future of 'having a computer tell you what you own.'

“The implications are staggering,” noted Dr. Evelyn Reed, a leading expert in Obvious Truth Actualization from the Institute for Aspirational Proximity Studies. “We can now definitively state that a piece of land designated as ‘provincial park entrance road’ is, in fact, owned by the province. This eliminates decades of guesswork and allows us to move forward with… well, with whatever we decide to do next. Probably another study.”

Citizens, long accustomed to being told there simply 'isn’t any land' for affordable housing, expressed a mix of relief and profound confusion. “So, you’re telling me the government had the land all along, and we just needed a fancy Google Maps to figure it out?” asked one resident, shaking his head. “I guess it’s good they finally found it before it evaporated or something.”

Next on the agenda, the province plans to implement a similar tool to 'discover' the location of its own funding for affordable housing, which sources say may also be found in government accounts.