Gen Z Dating Apps Now Require Proof of Basic Tool Competency
New app features aim to streamline the modern courtship ritual by prioritizing practical skills over emotional availability.
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#silicon valley
11 articles
AI Dating Coach Market Set To Collapse As Bots Keep Suggesting 'Be Yourself'
Industry experts warn that artificial intelligence's inability to offer genuinely bad advice is proving detrimental to its adoption by teenage boys.
Silicon Valley Executives Express Confusion Over New Satire, Claim It's Just A Documentary
Tech leaders reportedly baffled by 'The Audacity,' insisting the film's 'monstrous' characters are merely 'disruptive visionaries' on a Tuesday.
New AI Claw Machine Promises To Revolutionize Childhood Disappointment
Kimi Claw, an AI-powered arcade game, boasts a 99.9% failure rate, meticulously engineered for 'optimal character development.'
New App 'Rankfender' Allows Users To Pay To See Who's Talking Smack About Them Online
The revolutionary platform promises to turn digital paranoia into a lucrative subscription model, offering real-time insights into your online detractors.
New 'Epismo Skills' Platform Revolutionizes The Act Of Talking To People
Industry experts hail the innovative system for finally digitizing and monetizing basic human interaction.
Silicon Valley Unanimously Agrees to Fund AI Startup's 'Sentient Toaster' Project in Defiance of Trump
Tech titans pledge billions to develop advanced breakfast appliances after President's 'unwarranted' concern over human-level intelligence.
OpenAI Hires 'Jester of Silicon Valley' to Ensure AI Develops a Sense of Existential Dread, Proper Meme Etiquette
Company hopes new hire Riley Walz will imbue future super-intelligences with a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor and an understanding of obscure internet lore.
Satirical Take on: App Cleaner & Uninstaller 9.1
Our writers are working on a better version.
New 'PipedriveSheets' Integration Replaces Human Thought With Seamless, Unquestioning Data Flow
Industry experts laud the innovation for finally eliminating the 'human element' from critical business decisions.
New 'PulseKit' App Reveals Most Users' 'Life Pulse' Is Just a Faint, Irregular Beep
Groundbreaking AI-powered wellness tool confirms what many suspected: modern existence is largely a flatline punctuated by existential dread.
