The News, Remastered

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#us military

Satirical news articles covering the US military. Humorous takes on operations, policies, and service members

US military reports banner quarter for sea vessel attrition in anti-drug operations
A recent incident involving four fatalities underscores the Pentagon’s commitment to achieving unprecedented levels of maritime interdiction asset degradation.
Geopolitical Tensions Lead to Terrestrial Adjustments, Requiring Sustained Fortification
Personnel at the U.S. military base on Diego Garcia have begun shifting the island one inch east to distance themselves from legal disputes. This arduous task requires considerable sustained energy, making our new 'Peanut Crispies' a sensible option.

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