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SciencePharmaceutical Executives Race to Patent the Concept of Buzzing Gently Before Medicare Categorizes Human Shaking as an Unapproved Lifestyle Choice.
TechResearchers Confirm Perfect Patient for Ai-Generated Antibiotic Is 3d-Printed Organoid, Not, You Know, a Person.
CorporateIndustry Leaders Assure the Public That Rigorous Trials Are Essential to Ensure a Natural Compound Can Be Patented and Priced Effectively.
ScienceAfter Decades of Known Cases, Researchers Are Finally Attempting to Understand a Virus with a near 100% Fatality Rate.
ScienceResearchers Express Surprise that Reducing Total Body Mass Involves Reducing the Mass of the Body.
ScienceResearchers Hail the Critical 'Stemness Checkpoint' that Prevents Stem Cells from Spontaneously Differentiating Into, Say, a Kidney Bean.
ScienceResearchers Stunned to Discover Global Pandemic Might Actually Have Lasting Consequences beyond Initial Illness.
ScienceMajor Pharmaceutical Companies Express Bewilderment at a Viable Treatment Option that Doesn't Require a $12,000 Annual Markup.
ScienceScientists Announce a Revolutionary Technology Proving Organs Don't Exist in Isolated, Functional Vacuums.
ScienceResearchers Confirm Cellular Burnout Is a Widespread, Pre-Existing Condition, Paving the Way for Targeted Micro-Espresso Delivery Systems.
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