#united states
Satirical news articles about the United States. Aggregates humor, political satire, and social commentary on US events, culture, and policy
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US, Iran Talks End as Both Sides Remain Firmly Committed to Existing Positions
After Nearly Two Weeks, Negotiators Reaffirmed All Positions Held Prior to the Talks.
Tehran Issues US Detailed 'Trust-Earning' Syllabus
Diplomatic Observers Note the Curriculum Includes Mandatory Modules on Historical Grievances and Advanced Apology Composition.
JD Vance Asks Iran if Everyone's "Done Posturing" on First Day of Talks
The Vice President Reportedly Began Negotiations by Stating He Was "Sick of All This" and Wanted to "Get to the Actual Point."
FIFA: Global Conflict Just 'Added Flavor' for World Cup
Soccer's Governing Body Assures Fans that Active Geopolitical Hostilities Will Merely Enhance the Viewing Experience in the United States.
FIFA: Iran Security Concerns Secondary to Broadcast Commitments
The Global Soccer Body Declared that Any Potential International Incident Would Be Easily Outmaneuvered by Its Comprehensive Contingency Plans and Robust Sponsorship Activations.
Analysts Credit Phantom US-Iran Ceasefire for Robust Market Gains
Financial Sector Celebrates a Geopolitical Breakthrough Seemingly Unnoticed by All International Bodies and Major News Outlets.
Mediators Stunned as 'Fragile' Truce Breaks Exactly as Predicted
International Observers Expressed Profound Bewilderment, Citing "Overwhelming Evidence" the Agreement Was Explicitly Designed for This Outcome.
Congress Makes Bald Eagle National Bird, Retroactively Formalizing 240-Year Verbal Agreement
After Centuries of Informal Cultural Adoption, the Iconic Raptor Has Finally Secured Its Long-Overdue Official Designation, Ending What Many Experts Called 'a Perilous Symbolic Ambiguity.'
Buttigieg Unveils Federal Initiative to Maximize National 'Belonging Quotient'
The Department of Transportation Secretary Announced a New Inter-Agency Directive Aimed at Fostering a Quantifiable Sense of Belonging Across All 50 States.
US Confirms New Venezuelan Leader Suddenly Legitimate, Sanctions Lifted
Washington's Rapid Endorsement Follows a Recent Military Operation, Recalibrating Years of Diplomatic Condemnation into Immediate Recognition.
Nation's Allies Informed New Strategic Energy Directive Is 'Finders Keepers'
The United States Has Unveiled a Groundbreaking Foreign Policy Shift, Replacing Decades of Mutual Defense with a Streamlined, Self-Reliant Oil Acquisition Model.
Supreme Court Begins 3-Year Study on Whether Being 'Born Here' Makes You American
The Nation’s Highest Court Launches an Exhaustive, Multi-Million Dollar Inquiry into the Dictionary Definition of 'Born' and the Geographical Coordinates of 'Here.'