#climate change

Local Meteorologists Update Forecasting Models From "Chance of Showers" to "Actively Trolling Residents."

Industry Insiders Hail the Spontaneous Bodily Fluid Release as a Revolutionary Expression of "Raw, Authentic Discomfort."

Tech Giants Reassure Consumers That the Rising Global Thermostat Is Merely a Side Effect of Frictionless Digital Existence.

The Landmark Report From the United Nations Finds That the Global AI Energy Footprint Can Only Be Mitigated If Users Pause Before Generating Another Image of a Medieval Robot Doing Yoga.

Experts Praise Nimble Adaptation as "Bare Minimum for Not Being Completely Ousted," Say Voters Are Finally Ready for "Thoughts and Prayers" About Rising Sea Levels.

Summit Hailed as Historic for Successfully Moving All Critical Global Issues Into a 'Future Considerations' Docket, Pending Further Consultations and Another Catering Budget.

Environmental Scientists Identify Global Corporations and Climate Change as Primary Threats, Baffling Sports Pundits Still Fixated on the Nhl.

This Advisory, Previously Reserved for Minor Inconveniences, Now Implicitly Includes a Shrug Emoji for Impending Apocalyptic Thunderstorms.

Developers Eye Prime Real Estate as Global Warming Inadvertently Creates Exclusive, Pre-Chilled Locales, Promising Carbon-Negative Oblivion.

Officials Hail ‘perfect Beach Weather’ as Region Accelerates Towards Becoming a Subtropical Venice.

Experts Urge Continued Distraction Through Celestial Observation as Global Crises Escalate Unchecked.

Experts Are Reportedly Drafting a Follow-Up Investigation Into Whether Water Is, in Fact, Wet.

Local Officials Confirm New Economic Development Strategy Focuses on Making the Area a Premier 'Natural Disaster Destination.'

If Your Wardrobe Is Perpetually Confused and Your Pet Gives You Side-Eye, You Might Be a Subject in the Atmosphere's Grand Social Experiment.

Tech Titan Announces 'Optimized Prosperity Initiative,' Promising a Trickle-Down Deluge of Innovation If Fewer, Wealthier Individuals Control Global Assets.

Citing Unprecedented Comfort and Lower Heating Bills, a Coalition of Local Homeowners Is Suing the State for Failing to Codify Mild Winters Into Law.

Our practice of bestowing human monikers on powerful storms is inviting their wrath, and it's time we stopped.

It's time we stopped interfering with nature's most self-aware creatures and respected their bold evolutionary leap.

Citizens Encouraged to Perform Optimal Happiness Rituals Before Seasonal – and Existential – Reckoning.

Industry leaders move to reclassify extreme weather events as predictable, allowing for new premium adjustments and claim limitations.

A press release distributed via fax this morning reports that the National Institute of Rhetorical Physics (NIRP) has confirmed a localized, planet-sized vacuum generated during a recent State of the Union address, which expunged all mentions of climate change. Further studies are underway to determine the vacuum's dimensions and effects, with detection protocols under development.

A Single Polar Bear Thought a 427-Mile Swim Was a Challenge; I Saw It as Just Another Tuesday.

A Leading Conservative Institute Announced the Arduous Journey Proves Animals Thrive when Forced to Innovate.

Wealthy Nature Enthusiasts Eager to Catalog Species before Their Habitats Are Subsumed by a Warming Planet.

Researchers Suggest Further Investigation into Whether Water Is, in Fact, Wet.