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PoliticsFederal Officials Praised the Efficiency of Their New "Expedited Witness Return Program," Citing Overwhelming Caseloads and a Commitment to Fiscal Responsibility.
PoliticsOfficials Confirm the Nation’s Legal System Is Finally Catching up to How Everyone Already Makes Major Life Decisions.
PoliticsFederal Officials Confirm New Unit Will Guarantee Citizens Achieve Optimal Level of Confusion Before Casting Ballots.
PoliticsThe Federal Department Cited 'Deeply Inconvenient' Ongoing Investigations That Might Implicate 'Very Important People.'
PoliticsFederal Prosecutors Argued in Court That Declaring a Politically Motivated Fund 'Dead' Would Set an Impossible Precedent for Government Initiatives.
WeirdLegal Scholars Warn the Unprecedented Move Could Restrict All Public Gatherings to Historically Approved Forms of 'Polite' Recreation.
PoliticsOfficials Suggest Original Charges May Have Been 'Premature' for What Now Appears to Be 'Passionate Discourse' during "Spirited Demonstrations."
FinanceNew Line Item Aims to Streamline Financial Impact of ‘Unforeseen Administrative Enthusiasm’ by Federal Agencies.
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