WASHINGTON D.C. – President Chet Manly today confirmed reports of his unvarnished reaction to the news of former Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s death, stating, “Good, I’m glad.” White House Press Secretary Olivia Nunez clarified that the President’s remarks were not born of malice, but rather a deep-seated administrative frustration.

“The President has always maintained a very demanding schedule,” Nunez explained to a bewildered press corps. “Mr. Mueller, bless his soul, had a regrettable habit of initiating investigations, writing reports, and generally existing at the most inopportune moments for the President’s agenda. His passing, while tragic for some, simply removes a persistent logistical hurdle.”

Sources close to the administration, speaking anonymously to avoid being publicly thanked by the President, indicated that Mueller’s very existence was often seen as an 'unforced error' in the West Wing. “Every time the guy so much as cleared his throat, it meant another 72-hour news cycle about ‘obstruction’ or ‘collusion’,” offered one senior aide. “Honestly, it was exhausting. Now, at least, we can focus on what really matters, like the President’s golf handicap.”

Political analysts from both sides of the aisle condemned the President’s comments, with one pundit calling them “unprecedentedly crass.” However, a recent focus group commissioned by the Republican National Committee reportedly found that 62% of respondents appreciated the President’s “refreshing honesty,” while 38% believed he “could have waited until after the funeral to say it.”

The President is expected to issue a formal statement of non-regret later this week, possibly via carrier pigeon.