WASHINGTON D.C. – A recent surge in the dissemination of profoundly unimpactful yet stubbornly memorable 'facts' has begun to strain the collective consciousness, according to a report released Tuesday by the Institute for Digital Cognitive Overload (IDCO). Citizens across the country are reporting an inability to dislodge trivial information, such as 'did you know a group of pugs is called a grumble?' or 'the average cloud weighs 1.1 million pounds,' from their short-term memory banks.

“We’re seeing a new kind of mental clutter,” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, lead researcher at IDCO. “It’s not misinformation, per se. It’s just… information that serves no purpose, yet occupies prime real estate in your brain. You can’t use it, you can’t forget it, and it certainly won’t help you win a Nobel Prize.” Dr. Thorne noted that this phenomenon is particularly prevalent among individuals who frequently encounter listicles and viral social media posts.

One affected citizen, Brenda Wallace, 47, of Omaha, Nebraska, described her struggle. “I know that honey never spoils, and that flamingos are only pink because of their diet. What am I supposed to do with this? My brain feels like a junk drawer filled with perfectly preserved, yet utterly useless, trivia.”

The IDCO report suggests that the human brain, designed to filter and prioritize information, is struggling to adapt to an environment where every fleeting thought or obscure tidbit is presented with the urgency of breaking news. The long-term effects of this 'cognitive lint' are still being studied, but early indicators point to a general decline in the ability to recall actual important information, such as where one left their keys or the name of their spouse's favorite band.

In related news, a study found that 87% of people who know that a 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time (1/100th of a second) have never once used that information in a meaningful way.