FORT WORTH, TX – In an unprecedented display of civic preparedness, Fort Worth officials announced today a comprehensive emergency transit drill designed to simulate every possible catastrophe that could befall the city during the 2026 World Cup. The exercise, dubbed 'Operation: Everything That Could Possibly Go Wrong,' aims to test the city's response to scenarios ranging from a minor traffic jam to a full-scale, multi-dimensional existential threat.

“We’re not just talking about a bus breaking down,” stated Bartholomew 'Barty' Finch, Director of Pan-Galactic Event Preparedness for Fort Worth. “Our simulations include a rogue meteor strike during a penalty shootout, a sudden, inexplicable shift in the Earth’s rotational axis, and, of course, the ever-present threat of a major condiment-related supply chain disruption. You simply cannot be too careful when hosting a global sporting event.”

The drill, scheduled for next month, will involve hundreds of volunteers acting as panicked citizens, extraterrestrial invaders, and even sentient tumbleweeds. Transit routes will be deliberately sabotaged, communication networks will be jammed by simulated solar flares, and emergency services will practice evacuating entire downtown blocks under the assumption that reality itself is unraveling.

“Our goal is to ensure that when the world’s eyes are on Fort Worth, we can confidently say we’ve planned for literally everything,” added Mayor Betsy Price, who will reportedly be participating in the drill as a civilian caught in a time-loop paradox. “Because if we can handle a sudden outbreak of spontaneous combustion during the national anthem, we can certainly handle a few million soccer fans.”

Critics, however, suggest the drill may be slightly over-engineered, with some pointing out that the city still struggles to fill potholes.