TORONTO – Hip-hop mogul and certified lover boy Drake has unveiled a groundbreaking new strategy to address persistent criticism of his musical output: a series of legally enforceable 'Praise Agreements.' The initiative, dubbed 'Operation: Un-Nitpickable,' aims to transform public discourse around his work by requiring fans, critics, and rival artists to sign contracts mandating positive feedback.

“For years, I’ve watched people nitpick at everything,” Drake stated in a pre-recorded holographic press conference, gesturing vaguely at a wall of perceived slights. “My flows, my lyrics, my sartorial choices – it’s exhausting. True artistry can’t flourish in an environment of constant, unsolicited critique. This is about protecting the creative spirit.”

Under the proposed agreements, signatories would be legally obligated to describe Drake’s music using only pre-approved superlatives such as “groundbreaking,” “iconic,” and “objectively perfect.” Any deviation, including implied negativity or even neutral commentary, would trigger a penalty clause, potentially involving mandatory listening sessions of his entire discography or public apologies delivered via TikTok.

“We’re not asking for silence, just… curated enthusiasm,” explained OVO Sound’s newly appointed Head of Affirmation, Bryce Sterling. “Think of it as quality control for opinions. It’s a bold step, but someone has to lead the charge against the tyranny of subjective taste.”

Legal experts are reportedly scrambling to understand the implications of enforcing such contracts, with some suggesting the move could redefine the very concept of artistic reception. Drake, however, remains unfazed, reportedly already drafting similar agreements for his culinary preferences and personal fashion choices. Sources close to the artist indicate that the first wave of Praise Agreements will be distributed to all attendees of his next stadium tour, embedded directly into the ticket purchasing terms and conditions.