FORT WORTH, TX – In an unprecedented display of foresight, the city of Fort Worth announced today it will conduct an “Emergency Transit Drill” designed to prepare for the 2026 World Cup by simulating a complete and utter societal breakdown. The exercise, scheduled for downtown, will reportedly test the city’s ability to manage not just a major sporting event, but also a simultaneous alien invasion, zombie apocalypse, and the sudden, inexplicable disappearance of all public transportation.

“We believe in being proactive,” stated Brenda Higgins, spokesperson for the Fort Worth Department of Anticipatory Catastrophes. “While other cities might focus on things like ‘traffic flow’ or ‘fan experience,’ we’re asking the hard questions: What if every bus spontaneously combusts while a rogue AI takes control of the light rail, and also, what if everyone starts speaking in tongues?” Higgins assured the public that the drill would be “as realistic as possible,” including actors portraying confused tourists, panicked locals, and several individuals convinced they are Napoleon Bonaparte.

Experts lauded the city’s comprehensive approach. Dr. Miles Corbin, a professor of Disaster Preparedness at North Texas A&M (Aggressive Management), noted, “Most cities plan for what they expect. Fort Worth is planning for what they absolutely, positively do not expect, but secretly fear in the darkest corners of their municipal hearts. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off.”

The drill will involve temporary road closures, simulated mass hysteria, and a brief period where all electronic devices will play nothing but the 'Macarena' on repeat. Officials hope the exercise will identify weaknesses in their emergency response, particularly regarding the deployment of emotional support miniature horses.

When asked about the likelihood of such extreme scenarios during the World Cup, Higgins simply shrugged, “You can never be too prepared for the unknown unknowns.”