SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Biotech firm Absci has announced that its highly anticipated Q4 2025 earnings call will take place entirely from the backseat of a chauffeured vehicle, traversing an undisclosed route. CEO Sean McClain confirmed the innovative format, stating it reflects the company's commitment to 'unconventional thinking and agile, on-the-go corporate governance.'

Investors and analysts have been instructed to dial in and prepare for potential background noise, including intermittent horn honks and the subtle hum of a hybrid engine. 'We believe this mobile format truly embodies our disruptive spirit,' explained McClain in a pre-recorded statement delivered from what appeared to be a tinted sedan. 'The biotech landscape is constantly shifting, and frankly, so are we. Literally.'

Chief Financial Officer, Dr. Evelyn Thorne, added that the moving vehicle environment offers 'unparalleled synergy with our pipeline velocity.' She clarified that while the car would be in motion, all financial projections would remain 'firmly grounded.' Sources close to the company suggest the decision was made after a particularly stagnant Q3 2025 call, which one attendee described as 'so boring, I think my soul left my body and ordered a pizza.'

Analysts are reportedly scrambling to secure motion sickness medication and noise-canceling headphones. The company has also advised participants to 'avoid asking questions that require extensive visual aids or a stable internet connection.'

Absci's board of directors reportedly approved the measure after a unanimous vote, conducted via a series of hand signals during a recent traffic jam.