Beyond Inc. Announces Bold New Strategy: Re-Acquire Everything It Ever Sold
Company hopes to corner market on nostalgic bankruptcy assets, starting with Buy Buy Baby.
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#corporate strategy
9 articles
Companies Discover Paying Remote Workers More Makes Them Less Likely To Complain About Office Mandates
A new study reveals a shocking correlation between increased remote compensation and a noticeable decline in 'workplace culture' discourse from those still at home.
HP Announces Revolutionary ‘Planned Obsolescence-to-Sustainability’ Initiative
The tech giant unveils a groundbreaking new program that ensures your old laptop will become part of your new one, eventually.
Microsoft Announces New 'Synergy Optimization' Initiative Following Latest Layoffs
Company leaders confirm the 650 terminated employees were simply 'unnecessary friction' in the pursuit of maximum shareholder value.
Netflix CEO Credits Trump’s “Art of the Deal” Wisdom for Avoiding Warner Bros. Acquisition
Company insiders confirm the decision to back out of a potential mega-merger was based on a single, cryptic phone call.
New Corporate Strategy: Just Give Up And Hope For The Best
Amidst 'hyperpolitical' climate, leading strategists recommend total surrender to chaos.
Local Firm Closes AI Skills Gap by Replacing Entire Workforce with a Single, Overwhelmed Intern
Company reports 'unprecedented efficiency' as intern struggles to differentiate between 'neural network' and 'Netflix queue.'
Media Conglomerate Announces 'Synergy-Driven Creative Destruction' Initiative for Beloved Franchises
Sources indicate a new corporate strategy aims to 'optimize IP for maximum divisiveness and subsequent reboots.'
Microsoft Announces New 'Xbox: What Even Is It?' Initiative, Pledges Another $70 Billion to Find Out
Company hopes unprecedented investment will finally clarify console's purpose, or at least fund enough focus groups to generate a compelling PowerPoint slide.
