Nation's Sports Fans Brace For Annual Ordeal Of Pretending To Understand Bracketology
Experts confirm millions will spend the next month feigning deep analytical insight into college basketball teams they've never heard of.
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#college basketball
14 articles
Arizona State, Bobby Hurley Announce Mutual Decision To Pretend It Wasn't A Firing
The university and its long-serving basketball coach confirmed they would 'part ways' after the current season, emphasizing the shared, amicable nature of the separation that definitely wasn't one-sided.
Arizona State Announces Decade-Long Coaching Experiment Concludes With Expected Results
The university confirmed today that its ambitious 10-year study into the effects of 'hope' on collegiate basketball performance has officially ended.
No. 2 Arizona Freshmen Declare Independence, Form Sovereign Scoring Nation
Koa Peat and Brayden Burries, 18, reportedly demanding diplomatic recognition after contributing 56 points to Arizona's latest victory.
Nation Stunned As Sports Team Actually Wins All Its Games
Experts warn that Miami (Ohio)'s perfect season sets an 'unrealistic and frankly unsustainable precedent' for future athletic endeavors.
Tar Heels Announce Emergency Plan To Replace Injured Star With Collective Fan Delusion
Sources close to the athletic department confirm the strategy involves harnessing the raw, unadulterated belief of thousands of well-meaning but ultimately powerless supporters.
Duke Player Whose Name Is Hard To Pronounce Single-Handedly Justifies Entire NCAA System
The 20-point performance by freshman guard Bojan Bogavac has reportedly saved collegiate athletics from its own existential crisis.
Nation’s Pundits Warn Of Imminent Societal Collapse If College Basketball Brackets Aren’t Perfectly Optimized
Experts caution that the delicate balance of the universe hinges on correctly predicting the NCAA tournament's top seeds.
University of Washington Announces New 'Rebounding Only' Scholarship Program
Following Hannes Steinbach's historic 23-rebound performance, UW seeks to corner the market on players who 'just really like grabbing the ball.'
TMU Basketball Star Attributes Success To 'Not Being Actively Bad At Basketball'
Aaron Rhooms clarifies that while family and belief are nice, his ability to score points remains the primary driver of victory.
Colorado Players Reportedly Forgot There Was A Second Half To Play
The Buffaloes secured a commanding 26-point lead by halftime, leading many to believe the game had concluded, including, apparently, the players themselves.
NCAA Committee Announces New 'Bracketology' Division For Pundits Who Guess Correctly
The National Collegiate Athletic Association confirms a new competitive tier for sports analysts whose pre-tournament predictions actually pan out, offering its own championship.
Texas A&M Victory Reportedly Secures Nation’s Collective Permission To Stop Pretending To Care About College Basketball
Sources indicate the Aggies’ win over Kentucky has officially released millions from the burdensome obligation of feigning interest until March Madness truly begins.
Nation’s Top-Ranked College Basketball Teams Discover Winning Is More Fun Than Losing
A groundbreaking study conducted during Saturday’s Arizona-Kansas matchup confirms long-held suspicions about competitive athletics.
