#planned obsolescence
Aggregating satirical news about planned obsolescence. Humorous articles on products designed to fail and consumer culture.
Battery Breakthrough Extends Life Just Past Warranty, Report Finds
Experts Celebrate a Microscopic Innovation Ensuring Your Devices Fail on a Schedule Convenient for Manufacturers, Not You.
Liverpool Advised to Scrap 'Legend' Status, Embrace 'Planned Obsolescence' Model
Experts Recommend Treating Player Careers Like Consumer Electronics, Prioritizing Peak Short-Term Value Over Sentimental Clutter.
Broome County Officials Brace for Annual Tidal Wave of 'Planned Obsolescence Memorials'
Local Sanitation Teams Prepare for an Onslaught of Obsolete Kindles, Tangled Cables, and Perfectly Good Iphones Traded for Minor Camera Upgrades.
Lg’s C6H OLED Delivers 0.003% Clearer Blacks, Sparking Upgrade Frenzy
Industry Experts Praise the Subtle, Almost Imperceptible Differences as a "Quantum Leap" in Planned Obsolescence Technology.
Retailers Embrace 3-Minute Toy Lifespan as 'Optimal' for Easter Economy
Industry Experts Highlight New Production Paradigms Focused on Immediate Gratification and Predictable Post-Holiday Waste Streams.
Industry Analysts Concerned as Perfectly Good Hardware Refuses to Die
New Findings Suggest Millions of Functional Computers Could Pose an Unprecedented Threat to Quarterly Upgrade Cycles.
Museum Exhibit Finally Enshrines IPhone 6 as 'Historical Artifact'
The Mimms Museum of Technology and Art Has Opened a New Exhibit, Elevating Apple Products from Mere Consumer Electronics to Priceless Cultural Relics.
McDonald's Introduces 'Collectible' Happy Meal Toys Scientifically Engineered for Maximum Disposability
The Fast-Food Giant Confirms Its Latest Plastic Figures Are Optimized for an Average Child's Attention Span of 4.7 Minutes before Becoming Inert Clutter.
