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PoliticsGovernor Newsom Declared a Victory for Childhood Innocence, Ensuring No Child Will Interact with an Artificial Intelligence That Might Provide Unhelpful or Repetitive Information, Unlike, Say, the DMV Chatbot.
TrendsExperts Warn That Adding an Electric Motor to a Two-Wheeled Vehicle Makes It More Than Just a Really Fast Scooter.
CorporateThe E-Commerce Giant Lauded Its Swift Action in Removing Items That Posed Chemical Burn and Ingestion Risks, Calling It a Testament to Its "Unwavering Commitment to Customer Well-Being."
TechThe Social Media Giant, Fresh Off a $16.7 Billion Settlement for Harming Children, Announced It Will Now Guide Competitors on Best Practices for "Responsible" Youth Interaction.
CorporateThe Tech Giant Suddenly Remembers Minors Exist, Launching a Groundbreaking Initiative to Safeguard Its Market Cap From Unprecedented Legal Fallout.
PoliticsOfficials Confident the New Ban Will Prevent Any Direct Exposure to Artificial Intelligence Until at Least Puberty.
CorporateCompany Offers Helpful Guide on How to Sever Emotional Ties with Potentially Hazardous Stuffed Animals.
ScienceOfficials Assure Public that All Future Abuses Will Now Be Thoroughly Documented via Updated Digital Forms.
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