Lifestyle

Forget Tips; You Need a Multi-Million Dollar Production Budget to Pull Off "Plain."

The Planned 'Eco-Luxury' Complex Promises Artisanal Cruelty-Free Granite Countertops, with Animals Offered 'Managed Migration Opportunities.'

Industry Leaders Laud "Molten Salt" Technology for Its Unmatched Efficiency and Ability to Spontaneously Warm Polar Waters.

The Iconic Pasadena Estate, Known for Its Brief Stints as Bruce Wayne’s Home, Cements a New Era Where Emotional Real Estate Trumps Structural Integrity.

After Decades of Research and Billions in Funding, Experts Confirm Ancient Wisdom of Not Actively Poisoning Oneself Is Surprisingly Effective.

Industry Leaders Convene to Process the Stunning Realization That Buying Tech Is Not, in Fact, the Same as Using It.

Mayor of Greater Manchester Establishes Dedicated Facility to Process the Ever-Growing, Meticulously Unresolvable List of Post-Brexit Challenges.

Insiders Report the Rapper’s Two-Second Window Included Rigorous, Venture-Capital-Style Q&a on Hyaluronic Acid Efficacy.

The Breakthrough Method Ensures Both Maximal Pest Eradication and Minimal Personal Enjoyment of Trendy, Hop-Heavy Beverages.

KXII Morning Anchors Reportedly Spent Weeks Preparing 'Spontaneous' Segments, While Town Residents Planned Their Usual Tuesday Evening.

The State's Populace, Accustomed to Perpetual Atmospheric Hostility, Anticipates Profound Psychological Whiplash When the 24-Hour Reprieve Inevitably Expires.

After Months of Self-Inflicted Agony in His Driveway, Local Enthusiast David Tracy Completed a 900-Mile Journey, Confirming That the Human Desire to Suffer for a Highly Specific Internet Audience Is Alive and Well.

Arts Complex Offers Exclusive Access to Clean, Fully Functional Restrooms, Ensuring Audiences Enjoy the Irony From a Comfortable Distance.

Economists Project Exponential Growth for Disposable Emotional Processing Sector as Consumers Embrace One-And-Done Catharsis.

Silicon Valley's Newest Elite Are Spending Their Fortunes on Antique Desks, Custom Steeds, and Homes with Intentional Dead Zones.

The Beloved Blues Legend’s Tuesday Night Show Promises a Faithful Recreation of Memories for an Audience Determined to Relive Their Youth, One Familiar Guitar Lick at a Time.

Authorities Describe Package as 'Precision-Engineered for Maximum Inconvenience and Minimal Collateral Damage to Neighboring Assets.'

Despite Initial Perceptions of Warmth, the Matriarch Has Perfected a Non-Verbal Campaign of Caloric Dominance, Silencing Dissent One Butter-Soaked Dish at a Time.

Strict Ethical Guidelines Prevent the Satirical Publication From Engaging with Content Involving Minors and Victims of Tragedy, Reaffirming Its 'Punch Up' Mandate.

Communities Ditch Rigid Calendar, Embrace Distributed Patriotism for Maximum Bang-For-Buck and Reduced Logistical Strain.

The Cross-Continental Relocation, Initially Undertaken for Familial Proximity, Evolved Into a Profound Testament to One Woman’s Unwavering Commitment to Her Own Personal Growth Narrative.

The "Strategic Emotional Endurance" Elective Equips Freshmen with Tools to Manage a World Increasingly Allergic to Basic Human Decency.

Decades of Baffling Follicular Mystery Finally Unravel as Experts Confirm Textured Strands Are Not, in Fact, an Untamable, Liquid Chaos.

Experts Laud Revolutionary Strategy for Achieving Peak Non-Participation, Setting New Standards for Intentional Unfulfillment.

Experts Confirm This Unique Birth Provides Humanity with a Much-Needed, Low-Stakes Distraction From Every Other Goddamn Thing.