WASHINGTON D.C. — Former President Donald Trump has officially thrown his considerable weight behind the cryptocurrency industry, signaling support for a bill that would streamline digital asset regulation. Sources close to the campaign indicate the pivot was not driven by complex economic theory, but rather by a recent, highly successful 'deep dive' into online crypto culture, where he reportedly discovered the concept of 'to the moon' and 'diamond hands.'

“Look, nobody understands making money better than me, okay? And these crypto guys, they’re making money. Big money. Tremendous money,” Trump stated in a recent social media post, which was then retweeted by several prominent crypto influencers with the caption 'BULLISH.' His endorsement sent shares of Coinbase soaring, prompting analysts to speculate whether traditional market indicators have now been entirely replaced by presidential tweets and meme sentiment.

“It’s a bold new era of economic policy,” commented Dr. Evelyn Price, a professor of meme economics at the University of Phoenix Online. “Why bother with GDP reports when you can just monitor which digital tokens the former president is vaguely aware of? It’s much more efficient, and frankly, more entertaining.” Dr. Price noted that the market’s reaction suggests investors are now primarily seeking reassurance that their speculative assets have a powerful, if unpredictable, cheerleader.

Campaign insiders confirmed that Trump’s team is now exploring the possibility of issuing 'TRUMPCOIN' as a stablecoin, backed by the sheer, unadulterated confidence of its namesake.