SACRAMENTO – After years of diligent inaction and strategic deferral, the State Senate announced today that 'Erin's Law,' a bill aimed at providing child sexual abuse prevention education, is officially slated for a floor vote sometime in the spring of 2047. The move is being hailed as a triumph of legislative patience.

"We understand the urgency of protecting our most vulnerable citizens, and that's why we've taken the necessary time to ensure this bill is thoroughly vetted, debated, and then put on a shelf for a few decades," stated Senator Mildred Pothole (D-District 17), chair of the committee that last reviewed the bill in 2012. "Rushing these things can lead to unforeseen consequences, like children learning about their bodies too early, or, worse, us having to do actual work."

Opponents of the bill, who primarily consist of lawmakers whose terms will have long expired by the vote, expressed concerns about the potential for 'over-education.' "Where does it stop?" asked former Senator Bartholomew 'Barty' Crouch, speaking via a holographic projection from his retirement villa on Mars. "First, they learn about safe touches, next thing you know, they're demanding adequate funding for schools. It's a slippery slope."

Sources close to the legislative process indicate that the 2047 date was chosen to allow ample time for the current generation of children to become adults, thus simplifying the bill's target demographic.