WASHINGTON D.C. – In a groundbreaking admission, the Pentagon today confirmed that ongoing military engagements in strategically vital international waterways could, under certain circumstances, have a measurable impact on the price of goods beyond just crude oil. The revelation comes amidst growing public concern that the cost of everything from imported avocados to bespoke dog food might soon reflect the true price of global intervention.

“Our initial models primarily focused on the immediate tactical objectives and, of course, the price of gasoline,” stated General Thaddeus 'Hammer' Harrison, spokesperson for the Department of Defense. “It appears we may have overlooked the intricate, almost delicate, web of global commerce that transports, for instance, ethically sourced coffee beans from distant lands to your local boutique grocer.”

Economists, who have been pointing this out for decades, were reportedly unavailable for comment, presumably due to being buried under mountains of previously ignored reports. A representative from the 'Institute for Obvious Economic Consequences' noted, “It’s like discovering that if you kick a beehive, the bees might get a little agitated. And then they might sting your organic honey supplier.”

The Department of Commerce is now reportedly scrambling to identify which specific consumer items might be impacted, with early internal reports suggesting that “literally everything” could be on the table. Consumers are advised to brace for potential sticker shock on items they previously took for granted, such as novelty socks and subscription boxes for artisanal cheeses.

Experts warn that the next logical step might be the Pentagon discovering that war also impacts human lives.