DETROIT — Detroit Pistons forward Isaiah Stewart, known primarily for his robust physicality and occasional on-court altercations, has reportedly been blindsided by the NBA's arcane rules regarding award eligibility. Stewart, who boldly declared himself the league's best defender earlier this season, was reportedly under the impression that such accolades were bestowed purely on the strength of one's own conviction, rather than mundane metrics like 'games played.'

Sources close to the team indicate Stewart was informed he must play at least 20 minutes in every remaining game to reach the 65-game threshold required for awards consideration. “He genuinely thought his personal belief was enough,” stated Pistons’ assistant coach Marvin ‘Skip’ Henderson, who requested anonymity to avoid further confusing the player. “We tried to explain it’s not like a kindergarten art show where everyone gets a ribbon just for showing up, let alone for *saying* you’re the best artist.”

Stewart's agent, Brenda 'The Closer' Jenkins, confirmed her client was now intensely focused on meeting the minimum playtime. “Isaiah is a competitor. He’s ready to put in the work, which apparently involves… playing basketball games,” Jenkins said, pausing to sigh dramatically. “Who knew?”

League officials are reportedly considering adding a new 'Self-Esteem MVP' award next season to accommodate players whose confidence outstrips their court time.