WASHINGTON D.C. — In a move lauded by strategic foresight experts and condemned by anyone hoping for peace, President Donald Trump and Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi reportedly dedicated a significant portion of their recent meeting to discussing the anticipated Iran war, despite the conflict not having actually begun.

The White House confirmed that the leaders engaged in "robust discussions regarding regional stability and future contingencies," a phrase insiders translated as "arguing over who gets to claim victory rights in a war that currently exists only on cable news chyrons and in the fever dreams of think tanks."

"It's crucial to be prepared for all eventualities," stated White House Press Secretary Chadwick Binx, adjusting his tie. "And by eventualities, we mean the ones our intelligence community has been hyping for the last three years. We can't be caught flat-footed when the inevitable happens, even if 'the inevitable' is still just a PowerPoint presentation in the Pentagon basement."

Sources close to the negotiations indicated that PM Takaichi expressed Japan's deep concern over the potential for a conflict that would disrupt global oil supplies, while President Trump reportedly focused on the aesthetics of a potential peace treaty signing ceremony. "He was very keen on the idea of a gold-plated pen," one aide whispered, requesting anonymity for fear of being reassigned to the Department of Interior's 'national park naming' division.

Brookings Institution analyst Dr. Evelyn Thorne noted the unusual nature of the discussions. "Typically, leaders discuss *preventing* wars. This feels more like they were reviewing architectural blueprints for a war that's already been greenlit, but the ground hasn't been broken yet. It's a bold new era of pre-emptive post-conflict planning."

Both nations are said to be ready to address the fallout from the conflict, just as soon as someone actually starts it.