WASHINGTON D.C. — The U.S. Department of Justice unveiled its highly anticipated 'Vengeance-Based Litigation' (VBL) division this morning, a move officials say will streamline legal efforts previously bogged down by traditional concepts of 'precedent' and 'evidence.' The announcement follows a recent judicial rebuke of the department's attempts to subpoena Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell, which a judge noted appeared to be motivated by a former president's 'desire for vengeance.'

“We’ve been doing this informally for years, frankly,” stated newly appointed VBL Director, Brad 'The Enforcer' McMurty, during a press conference held in a dimly lit, windowless room. “This just makes it official. Why waste taxpayer dollars on investigations when a simple, well-placed grudge can get the job done twice as fast? It’s about judicial economy, really.”

The VBL division’s mandate is to prioritize cases where a clear, personal vendetta can be identified as the primary driver for legal action. Sources close to the department indicate that initial targets include anyone who ever slightly inconvenienced a powerful figure, made a critical comment on social media, or simply looked at them funny during a televised hearing.

“Think of the resources we’ll save,” added Attorney General Merrick Garland, reportedly through a spokesperson, as he was unavailable due to an urgent 'personal matter' involving a parking ticket from 2007. “No more pesky probable cause or due process. Just pure, unadulterated legal retribution. It’s the American way, perfected.”

The division is expected to be fully operational by next quarter, pending the acquisition of several more black-ops-style SUVs and a dedicated 'enemies list' whiteboard.