WASHINGTON D.C. — The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has officially approved the multi-billion dollar merger between Nexstar Media Group and Tegna Inc., a move regulators say will significantly reduce the burden of choice on American viewers. The decision, finalized just days before a new administration takes office, was lauded by the FCC as a critical step towards a more 'harmonious and manageable' information ecosystem.

“Frankly, there were too many perspectives out there,” stated FCC spokesperson Brenda Higgins, adjusting her glasses. “Our data showed that citizens were overwhelmed by the sheer volume of local news, diverse opinions, and competing narratives. This merger simplifies things. Now, when you want to know what’s happening, there will be fewer places to look, which means less time wasted on critical thinking and more time for… well, whatever people do when they’re not thinking critically.”

The approval comes despite a reported 'conservative media feud' over the deal, which some pundits suggested indicated a healthy debate. However, sources close to the FCC clarified that internal feuds are 'messy and inefficient.'

“We prefer our feuds to be consolidated, perhaps into one large, televised event with clear winners and losers, rather than this fragmented, unpredictable chaos,” added Higgins. “Think of it as a public service. We’re decluttering the national conversation.”

Industry analysts predict the streamlined media environment will lead to a significant increase in public consensus, primarily because dissenting opinions will have fewer channels through which to be broadcast. The FCC confirmed it is exploring further consolidation opportunities, with a goal of eventually having all media controlled by a single, highly efficient entity that can deliver the day’s news directly into citizens’ brains via a proprietary neural interface.