LOS ANGELES, CA — A coalition of the nation's wealthiest individuals has reportedly launched an extensive public education campaign designed to inform voters about the intricate financial mechanisms that make taxing billionaires a bad idea for everyone. The campaign, which includes glossy mailers and targeted digital ads, emphasizes the 'fragile ecosystem' of extreme wealth and its vital role in the economy.

“It’s not about us; it’s about you,” explained fictitious spokesperson Brock Sterling, head of the 'Prosperity for All' PAC, which has spent millions on the effort. “When you tax the innovators, the job creators, the yacht owners, you’re not just taking money from them. You’re taking away the potential for future innovations, like, say, a new, even larger yacht that employs dozens of highly skilled yacht-building artisans.”

The materials, which feature smiling, ethnically diverse models who appear to be enjoying the benefits of not taxing billionaires, explain that every dollar not taxed from a billionaire is a dollar that could be reinvested into the economy, or, failing that, into a very exclusive art collection. One mailer features a chart demonstrating how a billionaire’s tax liability directly correlates with a hypothetical citizen’s ability to afford, for example, a slightly less expensive brand of coffee.

Economist Dr. Evelyn Thorne, a consultant for the campaign, noted, “Our research clearly shows that the optimal tax rate for billionaires is zero, because that’s when they’re happiest. And a happy billionaire is a productive billionaire, which benefits us all. It’s basic economics, really.” The campaign is expected to continue until voters understand that their financial well-being is inextricably linked to the continued accumulation of wealth at the very top.