LOS ANGELES, CA – In a move that industry analysts are calling 'inevitable' and 'honestly, a bit of a relief,' billionaire heir David Ellison has officially completed his purchase of Hollywood. The Skydance Media CEO, already known for his aggressive consolidation efforts, announced today that all major studios, production houses, and even the concept of 'the red carpet' now fall under his personal portfolio.

“Look, it was just getting too fragmented,” Ellison stated in a press conference held aboard his recently acquired, now fully operational, studio lot. “Too many cooks, too many opinions. My dad always said, if you want something done right, buy it yourself. And honestly, the catering on these sets? Subpar. We’re going to streamline, optimize, and introduce a mandatory caviar bar on all productions.”

Sources close to the newly centralized entertainment behemoth indicate that Ellison's vision includes replacing traditional green screens with 'actual exotic locations, purchased outright,' and ensuring every film features at least one scene involving a private jet he personally owns. “He’s really passionate about vertical integration,” explained former studio executive, now Ellison’s personal assistant, Brenda Chen. “Apparently, that includes owning the entire vertical of creative expression, from idea to popcorn sales.”

Ellison concluded his announcement by unveiling a new corporate motto: 'Hollywood: Now With Fewer Meetings, More Monopolies.' He also hinted at plans to rename the iconic 'Hollywood' sign to 'Ellisonwood,' pending environmental impact studies and the immediate approval of his father.