Dear Esteemed Galactic Custodians of Planetary Aesthetics,
I write to you today with a heart heavy with both concern and a dash of intergalactic exasperation. Recent dispatches from our humble Curiosity rover on Mars have revealed a landscape increasingly littered with what appear to be, for lack of a better terrestrial comparison, giant 'dragon scales.' While I understand that planetary erosion can play tricks on the eyes, the sheer, undeniable *abundance* of these polygonal formations suggests not merely a geological quirk, but rather, dare I say it, a colossal oversight in your celestial tidiness protocols.
For millennia, we Earthlings have gazed upon the Red Planet with a mixture of awe and wonder, contemplating its ancient mysteries. Never once did we imagine those mysteries included the residue of what must have been an absolutely magnificent, albeit incredibly careless, reptilian inhabitant – or, more worryingly, an entire colony of them. Is Mars now a designated 'free-range dragon' zone? Were permits issued for such extensive epidermal shedding? Because if so, the paperwork certainly hasn't reached our sector of the Milky Way, and frankly, we're feeling a bit out of the loop.
We're not just talking about a few errant scales here; Curiosity has described a "dramatically abundant" concentration. This isn't just a shed skin; it's a cosmic rug of discarded keratin. One begins to wonder if there isn't a long-forgotten, intergalactic reptile salon on Mars, perhaps an ancient scales-and-nails establishment that simply failed to dispose of its detritus properly. Or perhaps it's the aftermath of a particularly vigorous, millennia-long interspecies wrestling match, the likes of which would make terrestrial sumo look like a gentle ballet. Whatever the cause, it's creating an aesthetic conundrum for future Martian colonists. Imagine trying to land a habitat amongst what looks suspiciously like giant, fossilized cornflakes. The property values alone!
My dearest Custodians, I implore you: where are the solar-powered sweepers? The gravitational vacuums? The dedicated Martian street-cleaning brigade? We're trying to foster a sense of interplanetary order here, a clean and welcoming environment for humanity's tentative steps into the cosmos. These 'dragon scales' are not only an eyesore but pose a significant tripping hazard for future boots on the ground. Please, for the sake of galactic harmony and the collective mental well-being of all aspiring astronauts, dispatch a clean-up crew. Let us not allow the Red Planet to become the universe's largest lost-and-found bin for reptilian remnants. A cleaner solar system is a happier solar system. Thank you for your urgent attention to this rather weighty matter.
Sincerely, A Terrestrial Citizen with a Penchant for Tidy Planets













