ScienceNASA Identifies Martian "Spiderwebs," Secures Next Century of Funding for "Dust Management."
Agency Spokespeople Confirm the Discovery Guarantees Sustained Taxpayer Investment in Cosmic Housekeeping Operations.
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ScienceAgency Spokespeople Confirm the Discovery Guarantees Sustained Taxpayer Investment in Cosmic Housekeeping Operations.
ScienceThe Psyche Spacecraft's "Gravity Assist" From Mars Reportedly to Capture the Red Planet's Most Flattering Light for Future Cosmic Tinder Profiles.
CorporateAgency Officials Laud the Gravity Assist as a 'Win-Win-Win' for Taxpayer Funds, Scientific Discovery, and the Uncompensated Cosmic Labor of the Red Planet.
WeirdA Concerned Earthling Demands Answers Regarding the Alarming Proliferation of Reptilian Detritus on Our Celestial Neighbor.
ScienceResearchers express shock at millennia-long processes now taking mere decades on red planet.

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