Tag

#mlb

6 articles

MLB Pitcher Grapples With Existential Crisis Over Second Exhibition Game Appearance

Tarik Skubal describes the scheduling dilemma as 'one of the tougher decisions' of his professional life, sparking concerns about the mental fortitude required for actual baseball.

3d ago

Rangers Sign 39-Year-Old Andrew McCutchen, Citing 'Unmatched Experience In Losing Gracefully'

The Texas Rangers have added veteran outfielder Andrew McCutchen to a minor-league deal, hoping his extensive career of not winning will finally rub off on the franchise.

5d ago

MLB Commissioner Declares Father-Son Spring Training Game 'Peak Content'

League officials confirm the manufactured drama between the Counsells is precisely the kind of narrative synergy modern sports fans crave.

5d ago

MLB Announces Players Must Now Wear Hall of Fame Busts On Helmets For Immediate Legacy Evaluation

New league mandate aims to streamline the fan experience by pre-emptively categorizing athletes for future Cooperstown induction.

Mar 3

Marlins Prospect's Oblique Strain Plunges Entire Franchise Into Existential Crisis

The Miami Marlins organization is reportedly re-evaluating its entire business model after Thomas White's right oblique decided to take an unexpected vacation.

Mar 2

MLB Unveils New 'Optional Fun' Clause for Spring Training Games

League officials confirm athletes are now legally permitted to simply not show up for non-critical matchups.

Mar 1