CorporateCompany Recalls Toys After Discovering Children Will Actually Eat Anything
Executives Express Shock That Products Designed to Be Squeezed and Mouthed Were, in Fact, Squeezed and Mouthed by Their Target Demographic.
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CorporateExecutives Express Shock That Products Designed to Be Squeezed and Mouthed Were, in Fact, Squeezed and Mouthed by Their Target Demographic.
CorporateAgency Issues Emergency Recall After Discovering Small Children Put Small, Brightly Colored Objects Into Their Mouths.
CorporateThe E-Commerce Giant Vows "Unprecedented Convenience" for Parents Grappling with Internal Organ Damage From Tiny, Powerful Magnets Sold on Its Platform.
CorporateCompany Regrets Only That Public 'Misunderstood' Their Dedication to Innovative Material Sourcing.
CorporateThe CEO of the 'Stephan Baby' Brand Spun the Mandatory Removal of 227,500 Unsafe Boo-Bunnies as an Invaluable, Large-Scale Market Research Initiative.
CorporateThe Manufacturer of the Stephan Baby Boo-Bunnie Expressed Bewilderment That Babies Might Try to Ingest Components of a Product Designed for Them.
CorporateCompany Offers Helpful Guide on How to Sever Emotional Ties with Potentially Hazardous Stuffed Animals.
PoliticsCritics Say Zuma Figure's Lack of Distinctive Features Poses Unprecedented Threat to Childhood Imagination.

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