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TechThe Agency Confirms That If Humanity Can't Survive on a Planet with Water, Air, and Fertile Soil, Maybe a Fungi-Based Diet on a Dead Rock Is the Answer.
TechIndustry Leaders Reassure Public That Future Generations Will Benefit Greatly From Sifting Through Our Electronic Refuse for Reusable Components.
PoliticsSources Confirm the Unprecedented Alliance Was Forged Over a Shared, Visceral Disgust for Humming Server Racks, Temporarily Eclipsing Policy Differences On, Say, Human Rights or the Rule of Law.
PoliticsFrom Rural Sprawl to CPU Fan Noise, Every Aspect of Server Farms Now a Campaign Battleground.
FinanceThe Heavy Equipment Giant Credits Record Revenue to a Burgeoning Global Market for Transforming Inconvenient Natural Landscapes Into Server Farm Foundations.
PoliticsThe Party's New Eco-Friendly Platform Aims to Replace Server Farms with Mindful Breathing and Ethically Sourced Crystals.
PoliticsStates, Faced with the Actual Infrastructure Costs, Are Finding the 'Ai Revolution' Significantly Less Compelling Than It Sounded on Linkedin.
ScienceTech Giants Reassure Consumers That the Rising Global Thermostat Is Merely a Side Effect of Frictionless Digital Existence.
ScienceThe Landmark Report From the United Nations Finds That the Global AI Energy Footprint Can Only Be Mitigated If Users Pause Before Generating Another Image of a Medieval Robot Doing Yoga.
TechExperts Celebrate Improved Analytics for a Problem They Have No Intention of Solving.
TechThe Latest Funding Round for SiFive Aims to Push Server Processing Power Further from Public Scrutiny.
TechMajor Tech Companies Are Reportedly Shocked to Discover Artificial Intelligence Requires Significant Physical Infrastructure Built and Maintained by Highly Skilled, Non-Sentient Blue-Collar Workers.
TechIndianapolis Leaders Commend a Recent 'Ballistic Memo' as an Innovative, Albeit Aggressive, Method of Civic Engagement Regarding Data Center Proposals.
FinanceFinancial Community Praises Transparency of Major Investor Confirming Self-Interest.
TechThe Social Media Behemoth Announced Its Hyperion AI Facility Will Rely on 10 Dedicated Natural Gas Plants to Ensure 'Uninterrupted Consciousness for Tomorrow's Chatbots.'
TechBreakthrough Photonics Promise to Slash Latency for Producing Millions of Identical Listicles, Boilerplate Emails, and Generic Digital Art.
TechMeta Cites "Foundational Reliability" and "Long-Term Geological Renewability" for Its Commitment to the Fossil Fuel Investment.
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