Science1% match
Space Crew Launches, Relieved to Escape Earth's Crumbling Infrastructure
Four Humans Embark on Orbital Vacation, Leaving Behind a Planet Actively Trying to Kill Itself.
Oct 1, 2026
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Found 7 articles tagged #astronauts
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Science
Politics1% match
I Am the Optical Illusion and My Entire Existence Is a Cosmic Joke
Every Time an Astronaut Snickers at My Ephemeral Dance, a Piece of My Non-Existent Soul Shatters into a Billion Photons.
Apr 15, 2026
Politics1% match
Only Astronauts Are Fit to Lead: the Kelly Poll Proves It.
Forget Policy, Experience, or Even Charisma – the Only True Qualification for the Oval Office Is Having Orbited Earth, and a New Poll Just Confirmed It.
Apr 14, 2026
Lifestyle1% match
Astronauts Return Speechless, Struggle to Articulate Lunar Flyby Experience
NASA Officials Confirm Crew Is "Experiencing Acute Eloquence Deficits" and Have Been Cleared for Non-Verbal Communications Only.
Apr 13, 2026
Science1% match
NASA Hails Artemis II Mission as Historic Ten-Day Commute
The Multi-Billion Dollar Capsule and Its Highly Trained Occupants Successfully Completed Their Pre-Planned Trip Around the Moon, Achieving All Previously Announced Objectives of Not Exploding.
Apr 11, 2026
Finance1% match
NASA: Artemis II Launch on April 1 Is Serious, Not Agency's Biggest Joke
Agency Officials Are Reportedly Exhausted from Pre-Emptively Denying a Prank Involving Four Astronauts and Billions in Taxpayer Dollars.
Apr 1, 2026
Science1% match
Artemis 2 Astronauts Arrive at KSC, Immediately Begin Five-Day Quest for Decent Wi-Fi
Crew's Top Priority Shifts from Mission Protocols to Stable Internet Ahead of Lunar Orbit.
Mar 28, 2026